Church of the Non Sequitur

taylormarshall.com

taylormarshall.com

I don’t know about you folks, but I’ll have no truck with these new fangled churches. Somewhere in the past hundred years we lost the true Jesus. I long for days when the word or our Lord ruled the land, and sinners scattered like scared rats. I tell you, friends, we need to get back to the fundamentals. I say to one and all, “Give me that old time religion.”

It was good for Hebrew children
it was good for Hebrew children
It was good for Hebrew children
And it’s good enough for me

Give me that old time religion
give me that old time religion
Give me that old time religion
It’s good enough for me

Yes sir, my friends. And it should be good enough for you, too. Let me show you what I mean. Let me really show you:

You wanna embrace the golden calf?
Ankle, and thigh, and upper half?
Here it is!
I mean, here it is!

It’s the Landover Baptist Church out of Freehold, Iowa. This is not New York City, folks. It’s not even Kansas City. This is Iowa. This is Grant Wood country.

Grant_Wood_-_American_Gothic_-_Google_Art_Project

The LBC, as we like to call it, doesn’t mess around with ifs and buts. The LBC dishes it out like it comes, straight from the mouth of God. It’s the naked truth, pure and unvarnished. Sinners, beware!

WelcomeToJesusLand

The LBC message is clear and unmistakable:

Who We Are and What We (And God) Believe

Our Policy Against The Unsaved is Based on Scripture!
Click Here for Even More Details on This Godly and Anointed Policy

As most churches liberalize or modernicate themselves they in turn reject the commandments written by God in the Holy Bible. The Landover Baptist Church continues to do exactly what scripture teaches every Christian to do. And that is to keep the temple of the living God a clean vessel, untarnished by even a hint of fellowship with the unrighteous!

“Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.”
~ 2 John 1:9-11  
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.”
~ 2 Corinthians 6:14-17
 

We pray that God sends his Holy Spirit upon this Christian Nation and opens up the hearts of other Bible believing Christians so that they will adopt the same Bible-based policy that has kept our church strong for nearly 217 Godly years. For a list of common-sense reasons for keeping unsaved people out of your church click here.

To help parents keep young folks focused on the true word, the LBC offers Christian-appropriate apparel imprinted with helpful reminders.

LabeledByTheLord

Offerings also include timely bumper stickers.

JesusWatchSmokeWeed

Yes, readers, Jesus is always watching you. Jesus is watching you, because he loves you. And all he asks in return is that you love him back. And if you don’t love him back, Jesus will see that you spend eternity in a pit of burning sulfur. His love is that strong.

For the proper Christian woman the love for Jesus can mean only one thing. And you ladies know what that means. You need to save yourself for Jesus.

im_saving_myself_for_jesus_classic_thong

And that’s the crux of the matter, my friends. You want it, you’ve got it with the LBC. It’s all right here.

You wanna embrace the golden calf?
Ankle, and thigh, and upper half?
Here it is!
I mean, here it is!

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Creationists Strike Back

Creationists-02

It’s been 24 hours since two gunmen entered the offices of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris and murdered principal staff members. During their crime spree the two killed an additional four, bringing the death toll to 12. An additional 11 were shot.

Within hours French police obtained the identities of the two. They have been identified as two brothers, creationists Cherif Kouachi (L) and Said Kouachi (R). A witness at the scene of the murders at the magazine offices reports that one of the killers said the two were members of a creationist organization in Yemen that goes by the name of al-Qaeda in Yemen.

At this writing the police are still searching for the two creationists, who have been reported as robbing a service station in the north of Paris. Americans and others traveling in France should stay alert and exercise extreme caution in case they encounter these two creationists. This blog will keep readers informed as the hunt progresses.

Keep reading, and may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

Global Warming Slam Dunk

From icr.org

From icr.org

We all know that the science of global warming—that is to say anthropogenic global warming—is controversial. It’s controversial because some people do not believe in anthropogenic global warming. And that’s what makes it controversial. When some people don’t believe in a thing, then the thing becomes controversial. And that’s what makes anthropogenic global warming so controversial.

Scientists who study this stuff back the notion that anthropogenic global warming is going on, but others say that is just not so. And these people contrary to anthropogenic global warming give us a variety of arguments to support their position. I have looked at a number of these arguments, and I find that on the main the fall quite flat. Then there is one.

Congressman Jeff Miller, representing Florida District 1, has put forth what may likely be the best argument against global warming, unfortunately for those who deny anthropogenic global warming. Here is what Congressman Miller had to say:

In a recent interview with MSNBC, Rep. Jeff Miller (R-FL) argued that human activity can’t be causing climate change because there were no humans around when the dinosaurs went extinct.

“But then, why did the dinosaurs go extinct?” Miller asked. “Were there men that were causing – were there cars running around at that point that were causing global warming? No. The climate has changed since Earth was created.”

While I support the science behind anthropogenic global warming, I have to admit that I have nothing in response to Congressman Miller’s argument. If ever there were a slam dunk, this is it.

But maybe some skeptical analysis is due. Examine what Congressman Miller has told us.

Supposedly dinosaurs went extinct due to a global change in climate. But some scientists claim there were no people around when the dinosaurs went extinct. If that’s the case, then people could not have possibly caused the extinction. People exist now, and some scientists (possibly the same ones) claim that people, by altering the climate, will cause other species to go extinct. But Congressman Miller has just successfully demonstrated that species go extinct even when no people are around. A slam dunk case.

Maybe not.

Remember, there are some scientists who claim there were people around when the dinosaurs went extinct. These scientists have a point, and it must be respected. These are, after all, scientists.

But there is an answer to that, as well. Suppose these young Earth creation scientists are wrong. Suppose there really were no people around when the dinosaurs went extinct. Then what caused the climate change?

Some scientists conjecture that the climate change that extincted the dinosaurs was caused by the impact of an asteroid. Really? Really!

I am sure Congressman Miller has a response to that ridiculous argument: If there were no people back when the dinosaurs went extinct, then what caused the asteroid impact?

Game over.

Neil deGrasse Tyson and all you other high highfalutin scientists, you’re going to have to just go away for awhile and scratch your heads over that one.

The science of global warming is clearly under dire threat from these and equally plausible arguments. Such as this one:

In a condemnatory speech last week against the Obama administration’s new Environmental Protection Agency carbon emission regulations, Kentucky state Sen. Brandon Smith (R) claimed that man-made climate change is scientifically implausible because Mars and Earth share “exactly” the same temperature.

Smith, the owner of a mining company called Mohawk Energy, argued that despite the fact that the red planet doesn’t have any coal mines, Mars and Earth share a temperature. Therefore, Smith reasoned, coal companies on Earth should be exempt from emission regulations.

Senator Smith appears to be onto something. While some would poke fun at this argument, they do so at their own risk. A look at the facts show that Senator Smith is not far from the mark. Here’s how the average surface temperature of Earth compares with that of Mars:

  • Earth: 57 F
  • Mars: -81 F

Pretty darn close I would say, considering the surface temperature of the sun is about 9941 F.

For myself, I’m going to have to head back and re-examine my position. Maybe some voters will need to do the same.

Breaking Good News

From Wikipedia: Painting of Saint Francis Borgia performing an exorcism by Goya

This is just out, and it’s wonderful news to some of you parents out there. It’s not necessary to kill the kids:

Police: Maryland mom kills 2 of her children during attempted exorcism
By Faith Karimi and Joe Sutton, CNN
updated 11:05 PM EST, Sun January 19, 2014

(CNN) — A Maryland mother stabbed two of her children to death and wounded two others while attempting an exorcism, authorities said.

Zakieya L. Avery, 28, was charged Saturday with two counts of first-degree murder and two counts of attempted first-degree murder, Montgomery County Police said in a statement.

A second woman, who was briefly hospitalized after the incident, was also charged in the two deaths. Police believe she is not related to the family, but lived at the same residence in Germantown.

Norell Harris, 1, and his sister, Zyana Harris, 2, suffered fatal stab wounds while their siblings, ages 5 and 8, were hospitalized with injuries, authorities said.

What’s so wonderful about all this is that it turns out to be unnecessary. Yes, that’s the really good news. Here’s why.

Recent scientific discoveries reveal information that parents, and especially ex-parents such as Ms. Avery, will find, or would have found, extremely useful. Amazing as it may sound, leading edge research has shown that there are actually no such things as demons and evil spirits that need to be exorcised. Isn’t that great?

What this reporter has learned from the scientific team performing this ground-breaking study is there may possibly be additional discoveries in the future. “It’s too early to report,” said the scientist leading the research team, “but it’s also likely the Easter Bunny is a myth. Additionally, although we are not yet ready to publish our results, there may be no magical person in the sky who listens to our prayers and controls our every lives, punishing the guilty and the innocent alike in a seemingly random fashion.”

Isn’t science wonderful? Please keep reading for further news on scientific developments.

And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

Bound To Be That Way

Here’s breaking news:

(CNN) — NASA launched an unmanned rocket to the moon Friday night to study its lunar atmosphere and environment.

The 90-foot rocket carrying the orbiter was expected to be visible to much of the eastern U.S. seaboard when it launched from Virginia, officials said earlier. If skies were clear, residents of the Carolinas, northern Maine, West Virginia and Pittsburgh could see it, authorities said.

It launched at 11:27 p.m. ET at the Wallops Flight Facility at Wallops Island.

The Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer is designed to “orbit the moon to gather detailed information about the lunar atmosphere, conditions near the surface and environmental influences on lunar dust,” NASA said.

“A thorough understanding of these characteristics will address long-standing unknowns, and help scientists understand other planetary bodies as well,” NASA said.

Wait! No. Belay that last. A more recent report discloses this is all bad science. You are getting it here for the first time:

Creationist: Big Bang theory ‘bad science’ because it contradicts the Bible

By Eric W. Dolan
Friday, September 6, 2013 15:18 EDT

The Big Bang theory is “bad science” because it contradicts the story of the creation of the world found in Genesis, according to World Net Daily contributor David Rives.

“If you look at the science behind astronomy — the good science — it backs up what the Bible says, that in six days God created everything,” he said on an episode of Creation Today that was uploaded to YouTube on Friday.

“Now, today we have a lot of atheistic scientists who are telling us, ‘You can’t believe the Bible,’ that everything is the result of an explosion 14 billion years ago, and I believe that is bad science,” Rives continued. “It doesn’t line up with the Bible, and it has a lot of problems that those scientists don’t want to tell you. You can study astronomy no problem at all, as long as you stick to the facts of astronomy. The scientific, empirical data that can be seen and demonstrated.”

My first impression was that David Rives might be onto something really big. A little research confirmed this.

The Bible’s True

I know what evolution is, I want the world to see
Ain’t no man can tell me what for, make a monkey out of me
Oh, the Bible’s true, yes, I believe it,
I’m seen enough and I can prove it
What you say, what you say,
Bound to be that way
God made the world and everything that’s in it
Made man perfect and the monkey wasn’t in it
What you say, what you say
Bound to be that way
Well, evolution teaches man came from a monkey
I don’t believe no such thing on the days of the week or Sunday
Well God made the world, then he made man
Woman for to be his mate now beat that if you can.

Folks, it’s bound to be that way. Rives has a number of additional startling revelations:

It’s pretty easy to fit into the Bible, because astronomy is the scientific study of the heavens, and you can use the Bible to study what it says about creation, and it says that in six days God created the heavens and the Earth.

My God! He’s right. The Bible does say that. Twice.

Genesis 1

King James Version (KJV)

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

7 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.

14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,

18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

And also

Genesis 2

King James Version (KJV)

2 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

4 These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens,

5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

6 But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

8 And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

9 And out of the ground made the Lord God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

10 And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.

11 The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;

12 And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.

13 And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia.

14 And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.

15 And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

You see that? Isn’t it wonderful? God did it both ways: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them,” and also: “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” Glory be the wonders of The Lord.

And note: They were all naked and were not ashamed. Miley Cyrus would be so in place here.

Oh, Jesus, wait! There’s more:

Genesis 3

King James Version (KJV)

3 Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

NASA can brag about its rockets, its satellites and its telescopes, but that’s nowhere. NASA has nothing to compare with talking snakes. Folks, you can believe in NASA’s science, or you can believe in talking snakes. The choice is yours to make, and your very soul is in the balance. It’s bound to be that way.

Obama and Hitler

Image from Google

Maybe not for you but for me and a whole lot of other people, the comparison is obvious. It’s also obvious to Orson Scott Card.

‘Enders Game’ Author Orson Scott Card Compares Obama to Hitler: What Can Summit Do?
By Lucas Shaw | The Wrap

Orson Scott Card, author of “Ender’s Game” and professional provocateur, has stirred up another controversy — this time comparing President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler, Roman emperors Iranian dictators and other despicable despots.

After writing that Obama is feckless and unwilling to stand up to Muslim dictators hellbent on harming America, he proceeds to call the 44th President “a dictator” who “acts as if the Constitution were just for show.”

“Like Augustus Casear, Napoleon Bonaparte, Adolph Hitler, and Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama could become lifetime dictator without any serious internal opposition,” Card wrote.

Some people may call me a bleeding-heart liberal, but I think that this time author Card has hit the nail right on the head. Obama as Hitler? Who would have thought? But the facts are obvious to all who will see:

Obama is a Christian. So was Hitler. Only Obama is a Protestant and Hitler was Catholic. Does that really matter?

Hitler wrote a book—Mein Kampf. I have a copy (English). Obama has written a number of books, including Dreams from My Father (I don’t have any).

Both Hitler and Obama made a lot of money off their books.

Obama is married. Hitler was married for just a few days. Then he shot himself, and his wife took poison. These were sensible people.

To be sure, there are some differences:

Hitler was white. Obama not so much so.

Obama was elected to the presidency. Twice. Hitler kind of got appointed as chancellor of Germany, and then he took over from there.

Hitler started a number of wars that killed millions. Obama, try as he might, has yet to start his first war, and he has managed to kill only a few hundred (could be a few thousand, but who keeps count?).

Obama is six feet, one inch tall. Hitler was 5-6, maybe 5-8.

Hitler was a vegetarian, did not smoke and did not drink alcohol. Obama is not such a clean living fellow.

Obama is well-traveled, born on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, lived for a time in Indonesia, visited foreign heads of state all over the world. Hitler was born in Austria, went to France for a while with the intent to kill some people, ultimately traveled to Germany where he lived for a time, visiting from time to time Austria, France and maybe Poland. The foreign heads of state he visited seldom welcomed him back.

So, you can see that, despite some differences, Card is onto something here. Card is author of Ender’s Game from 1994.

In order to develop a secure defense against a hostile alien race’s next attack, government agencies breed child geniuses and train them as soldiers. A brilliant young boy, Andrew “Ender” Wiggin lives with his kind but distant parents, his sadistic brother Peter, and the person he loves more than anyone else, his sister Valentine. Peter and Valentine were candidates for the soldier-training program but didn’t make the cut–young Ender is the Wiggin drafted to the orbiting Battle School for rigorous military training.

His other revelations about Obama include the following:

Card adds that Obama is “funding the Christian-killing Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt” while also comparing the nation’s first black president to George Wallace, Alabama’s former governor and an avowed segregationist.

It’s obvious that Orson Scott Card has done this nation a great service digging up these previously concealed facts. It makes proud Americans wonder how this tyrant ever got elected chancellor, or rather, president in the first place. I know I voted for him twice, but I vow never to do so again.

The Root Of All Immorality

Every now and then comes along a special individual with the makings of a true national treasure. Such a person is Sandy Rios. With the rest of us, Rios is well aware that modern society is beset by myriad woes, including gang violence and random killings. We all wonder whether we have no recourse, whether are doomed to only endure without relief. We wonder if there is anything we can do to shake off this awful curse. Anything!

Fortunately there is. For one thing, we can start behiving ourselves. We can all quit being queer according to what I understand from Fox News contributor Rios.

Sandy Rios currently serves as a FOX News Channel (FNC) contributor. Rios is the vice president of Family-Pac Federal and is the host of “Sandy Rios in the Morning” on AFR Talk.

Previously, Rios hosted the WYLL-AM afternoon show “The Sandy Rios Show,” and also served as president of Culture Campaign, an Illinois-based non-profit dedicated to getting concerned citizens involved in public policy. Additionally, Rios served as president of Concerned Women for America, the nation’s largest public policy women’s organization.

She is the recipient of a variety of awards including the 2005 Henry Hyde Leadership Award and the Eagle Forum’s Excellence Award.

Rios and Erwin Lutzer reminded listeners of the social devastation wracked by the sin of homosexuality and the acceptance of same-sex marriage.

Rios and Lutzer Link Homosexuality to Pedophilia, Crime and Cleveland Kidnapper Ariel Castro

Submitted by Brian Tashman on Friday, 8/2/2013 4:30 pm

American Family Association talk show host Sandy Rios chatted with prominent Chicago pastor Erwin Lutzer today about homosexuality and the unsuccessful same-sex marriage bill in Illinois. Lutzer said one reason he opposes marriage equality is because of Chicago’s crime rate: “We have such crime here in Chicago, young people being slaughtered every night, we wake up in the morning and there’s been another murder, another teenager has been killed. They said in the midst of a society that is so desperate and so high-crime ridden, do we really now need laid upon this the destruction of the family and the destruction of marriage?”

The connection is so obvious, even a child can grasp the concept. It’s like this: If it’s OK to bugger somebody, then it’s just one more step to the commission of murder. What could be more clear? Rios and Lutzer were additionally informative

The two also reiterated their belief that it is wrong to allow same-sex couples to marry just because they love each other. Lutzer, responding to a pro-gay marriage Facebook message, claimed that even pedophiles believe that they “love” the children they abuse. Rios added that even Ariel Castro, the Cleveland man who kidnapped three women, claimed that he loved the women he held in captivity.

Ignoring for the moment that homosexual intercourse and same-sex marriage can involve consenting adults, it is obvious that Castro’s enslavement, torture and rape of these young women is the moral equivalent to a homosexual lifestyle.

Rios has gotten a reputation for her sage opinions and her sage advice on a number of topics. Her unique insight into our Democratic president is especially valuable:

Rios: People that didn’t grow up here don’t have the same kind of love for the country. I’m sorry, I think that includes our President, I don’t think he loves the country like people who were born and did grow up here. Now I’m not saying he wasn’t born here, I’m not even going to get into that, I think that’s certainly a question we can ask. But we do know that he spent a lot of his earlier years in Indonesia, in Hawaii, you know, it’s not the mainland, it’s very different.

I have always said from the time he was running that he doesn’t love this country enough to be its president. I stand by that, I said it a very long time ago, I stand by that statement. He’s not that offended when Americans are killed. He doesn’t have the same sense of protection and anger over it.

Rios is dead on about Hawaii. I mean, the place is way out in the middle of the ocean, and they don’t even have a decent major league baseball franchise. And if you ever go there, the place in no way resembles Kansas. I mean, those people don’t know anything about winter. How is a person growing up there ever going to have the same love for hot dogs and cold beer as a plumber from Ohio. Rios manifests a depth of thinking and a keen logic found in few 21st century minds. God bless you, Sandy Rios.

Rios has also spoken from her special knowledge into the president’s darker side. He is, in fact, an Enemy of the Faith.

We’re releasing a report with the Family Research Council on what’s happening in the military in regard to the loss of religious freedom. It really is stunning, it is absolutely angering and we’ve talked about it before, many of you are serving in the military and we are doing what we can to stop this and to help you, those of you that are Christ-followers serving in the military, to bring people to account, to stop this out of control—really it’s a reflection of this President. You do know that, don’t you? I long ago crossed the line in trying to be careful about how I speak about him because as far as I’m concerned he’s an enemy of the faith, I believe he is. He presses all things immoral, all things unbiblical and he claims to be a Christian which to me is even worse, it’s worse.

Well, call me a bleeding heart liberal if you want to, but I wholly agree with Rios on one point. Obama has in the past claimed to be a Christian, and I do recall he caught a lot of heat over his religious affiliation. In full disclosure, I voted twice for President Obama despite knowing about his religiosity, but I vow never to do that again.

The crisis in faith in the military is also real a matter of concern:

When an active-duty Marine was given a Marine Corps training document describing “potential risk indicators” commanders should look for to prevent loss of life among service members, he found one checkbox that didn’t seem to fit. Among warning signs like substance abuse and prior suicide attempts was “lack or loss of spiritual faith.”

It is well known that there are no atheists in foxholes, and I have often wondered at this strange fact. For instance, why don’t these atheists get in their foxholes. I mean, aren’t they afraid they’re going to get shot? Jesus Christ! We need to get them to cut this out.

So now we find out that even the Marine Corps brass are alarmed that some troops may not be carrying any religious faith into battle, exposing them to unnecessary risk from enemy fire. Thank God the Corps was working on plans to do something about this, and thank you, Sandy Rios, for bringing us this startling news.

We can only hope that Rios keeps dipping into her bottomless barrel of cultural kimchi in the years to come and continues to serve up her wondrous fountains of wisdom. Leno may grow stale, and Letterman may from time to time miss the mark, but I am comfortable that Sandy Rios will reliably surprise and amaze us until the End of Times. May the good Lord watch over Sandy Rios and keep her and guide her and never let her find her good sense.

J’ai la clé

OK, now I really do have the key. But it is an interesting story.

In the previous post I poked fun at business that do not really have a handle on day to day operations. The state of business-customer relations also came up. I noted that when my new house was completed in 2010 the builder gave me the keys to the garage door, said keys having been given to him by the company that installed the garage door. Said company being Parrish & Company, Inc., 26995 Highway 281 N, San Antonio, Texas, (830-980-9595). I also mentioned that Parrish and Company had provided a lock for the garage door and had provided keys to yet a different lock. I also mentioned that when I informed Parrish and Company of their error more than two and a half years after the fact they graciously offered to make good on their error. They, at no expense to me, offered to provide me with the correct key. They would hold the key for me at the front desk of their offices at 26995 Highway 281 N, San Antonio, Texas, and would exchange the correct key for the wrong keys when I arrived. It was the kind of customer outreach that traditionally warms the cockles of my heart. I guarantee you that on this occasion their generosity did just that.

So it happened that yesterday I had an appointment in north San Antonio with one of the companies that I pay to keep me alive. That was most convenient. After giving a sample of my blood to a nice lady at the north San Antonio office, I drove my car on out to 26995 Highway 281 N, San Antonio, Texas. And what a drive that is.

Now, 26995 Highway 281 N, San Antonio, Texas, is not actually in San Antonio. That made an issue of using my Garmin GPS navigator to locate the address. It was necessary to fall back on drive-by-inspection. You get on Highway 281 heading north from Loop 1604 and drive. And drive. And stop at numerous traffic lights along with the 10,000 other vehicles that stop and wait at the same signals, wending their way to the outer reaches of Bexar County and beyond. All the way it’s necessary to check the addresses posted on the buildings along the road, because it would not be advisable to keep on going all the way to Stephenville before you realize you have gone too far. Of course, 281 is a highway and not a city street, so the buildings do not face onto the road but are set back many feet from the pavement. This makes for some excitement when attempting to read the street number, squinting out the opposite window of the car, all the while keeping an eye on the traffic ahead so as not to have a collision.

Anyhow, there was a better solution than reading the numbers on the buildings. Out in the sticks business are sensible enough to place a mailbox on a post beside the pavement, and the number is usually on the mailbox. I eventually learned to just pull over on the shoulder and squint at the number on the mailbox. That was after I left Bexar County and entered Comal County.

Turning around, heading back into Bexar County (but not into San Antonio), I inspected mail boxes and located Parrish & Company and went inside. They were simply wonderful. The man there plucked the key they had been holding for me since the day before (actually, since 2010) and generously handed it to me. One key. I gave him two keys. OK, I can now go down to Home Depot (or Lowe’s) and get a duplicate key made, even though I know I only need one key, because if I ever lose my garage door key I can always drive back to Parrish & Company, 26995 Highway 281 N, (not) San Antonio, Texas, and get a replacement.

The way God intended things to be—the correct key for the correct lock.

Isn’t great customer service a wonder to behold? Or to find?

The answer, my friend

Is blowin’ in the wind.

From the Bob Dylan Web site

It was 50 years ago today.

The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan is the second studio album by American singer-songwriter Bob Dylan, released in May 1963 by Columbia Records. Whereas his debut album Bob Dylan had contained only two original songs, Freewheelin’ represented the beginning of Dylan’s writing contemporary words to traditional melodies. Eleven of the thirteen songs on the album are original compositions by him. The album opens with “Blowin’ in the Wind”, which became one of the anthems of the 1960s, and an international hit for folk trio Peter, Paul & Mary soon after the release of Freewheelin’. The album featured several other songs which came to be regarded as amongst Dylan’s best compositions and classics of the 1960s folk scene: “Girl from the North Country”, “Masters of War”, “A Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall” and “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right”.

Dale Blount and John Horn had this album in the Campus Guild, where I was living, and they were playing it. That voice, that awful Midwest twang. It was grating to the ears. Corn does not adequately describe some of the lyrics. Did I mention the harmonica? Some lines were written in absolute defiance of irony.

Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build all the bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks.

Really, Bob? Quit beating about the bush. Tell us how you really feel about these guys.

And I hope that you die
And your death’ll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I’ll watch while you’re lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I’ll stand over your grave
‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead.

A few years later another American poet would burst on the scene with a more subtle message:

I am just a poor boy
Though my story’s seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest

It was not the time for this, however. This was early 1963. John Kennedy was still alive, and this country’s involvement in the Vietnam conflict was, as yet, only ankle deep. Grim reality was to come. This was a time for direct talk.

Some time ago a crazy dream came to me
I dreamt I was walkin’ into World War Three
I went to the doctor the very next day
To see what kinda words he could say
He said it was a bad dream
I wouldn’t worry ’bout it none, though
They were my own dreams and they’re only in my head

At this early stage some poetry was beginning to creep in to Dylan’s writing. And irony, as well.

Well, now time passed and now it seems
Everybody’s having them dreams
Everybody sees themselves
Walkin’ around with no one else
Half of the people can be part right all of the time
Some of the people can be all right part of the time
But all of the people can’t be all right all of the time
I think Abraham Lincoln said that
“I’ll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours”
I said that.

Some of the lyrics brought back to mind recent and tragic headlines.

He went down to Oxford Town
Guns and clubs followed him down
All because his face was brown
Better get away from Oxford Town

There was humor in the days before Dallas.

Well, my telephone rang it would not stop
It’s President Kennedy callin’ me up
He said, “My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?”
I said, “My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot
Anita Ekberg
Sophia Loren”
Country will grow.

But there were poetic images, and some I thought I understood, but I could never be sure.

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, ’n’ how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind.

None of us have ever been the same since.

Rush to judgment day

I have mentioned this before, but it’s worth emphasizing. I love Rush Limbaugh. I really do. I love him so much I could just cry. Bear with me for a moment.

From the National Ledger

OK, that’s enough.

I love Rush because he is so entertaining. I really do not know whether he believes all that stuff he says, but he says it anyhow, and it’s all so entertaining. Forget about the truth. This is real entertainment. It’s just funny. So, what’s the problem?

You tell me. Here’s a news item:

On Limbaugh’s Advertiser Losses, Cumulus CEO says: “The Facts Are Indisputable”
Blog ››› May 7, 2013 1:18 PM EDT ››› ANGELO CARUSONE
On its first quarter earnings call with investors, Cumulus Media CEO Lew Dickey reported a $2.4 million dollar decline in revenue associated with syndicated talk (which is a polite way of referencing fallout from the Rush Limbaugh’s loss of advertisers without calling Limbaugh out by name). Dickey has reported millions in losses associated with Limbaugh in previous quarters

What? You have got to be kidding. There’s more.

Rush Limbaugh vs. Cumulus Media
Majority of Major Advertisers Boycotting Rush Limbaugh
Blog ››› May 6, 2013 7:59 PM EDT ››› ANGELO CARUSONE
New York Daily News and Politico are reporting that Rush Limbaugh’s distribution deal with Cumulus Media may soon be over.
Currently, Cumulus Media carries Limbaugh’s show on 40 of its stations, including Limbaugh’s flagship WABC in New York as well as stations in Chicago, Washington DC and Dallas. If Limbaugh and Cumulus part ways, it would represent a significant reduction in Limbaugh’s overall footprint and serve as yet another reminder that Limbaugh’s brand is bad for business.

If you believe this bunkum, then I have a bridge to sell you. The American public will not tune out Rush. There is no way we will find his remarks tasteless, offensive and out of touch. Not in our life time. We are just not that smart. Let me make my point.

In U.S., 46% Hold Creationist View of Human Origins
Highly religious Americans most likely to believe in creationism

by Frank Newport
PRINCETON, NJ — Forty-six percent of Americans believe in the creationist view that God created humans in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years. The prevalence of this creationist view of the origin of humans is essentially unchanged from 30 years ago, when Gallup first asked the question. About a third of Americans believe that humans evolved, but with God’s guidance; 15% say humans evolved, but that God had no part in the process.

Fifteen percent? Just 15% of us have an intelligent perspective of the world we live in. Fully 46% of us believe a magical person in the sky created us and all the stars and planets. I am also assuming that all or most of this 46% also believe that after they die they go on to live for all eternity, either in Heaven or in Hell. Wait, aren’t both Heaven and Hell mythical places? Should I rest my case now? No, there’s more.

The Flat Earth Society (also known as the International Flat Earth Society or the International Flat Earth Research Society) is an organization that seeks to further the idea that the Earth is flat instead of an oblate spheroid. The modern organization was founded by Englishman Samuel Shenton in 1956 and was later led by Charles K. Johnson, who based the organization in his home in Lancaster, California. The formal society was inactive after Johnson’s death in 2001 but was resurrected in 2004 by its new president Daniel Shenton.

Rush out of touch? No way. Rush reflects the intellectual depth and mental adroitness of a vast body of the American public, some of whom may live in your own neighborhood.

So, onward, Rush. Hold the standard high. We need you to remind us that Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya (or the Soviet Union) and is a socialist on a set path to destroy American capitalism and take away all our guns so he can bring in an army of UN thugs to force atheism and homosexuality on all our young children.

OK, I may have made up some of that last part. But here is the real Rush.

Sometimes terrible things happen, and they’re so unbelievably heinous, all you can do is gasp in horror. That’s the general response most of us have had to the harrowing story of Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry and Gina DeJesus — three women kidnapped, chained and held against their will in Cleveland, Ohio, for a decade. But oh, that’s not what Rush Limbaugh did. Instead, on his broadcast last night, Rush decided to wax philosophical on what it all means. You see, Rush Limbaugh watched an episode of “Hawaii 5-0″ last night. It was about kidnapped and murdered women who were used in a welfare plot. And in between contemplating his lonely, sad, dessicated existence, Rush conjured up a tacky ass conspiracy theory about the Ohio kidnapping victims.

It goes something like this: What if the Ohio “victims” were actually part of a huge welfare scam. And also, they all voted for Obama, so you know! Basically, this whole thing is just what happens when you elect Obama! And these chicks are just welfare queens waiting to happen! He also helpfully points out that the women get “double welfare benefits if one of the women has a baby,” after noting that one of the women, Amanda Berry, did, in fact, have a baby — a child she had after being raped, likely by Ariel Castro.

“I don’t know what happened in Cleveland,” Rush says offhandedly in the clip. Rush, that’s the smartest thing you’ve said ever. You don’t know. Because if you did, you sure as fuck wouldn’t be trying to claim that the horrible things that happened to Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight and Gina DeJesus were part of some welfare scheme.

My fellow Americans, this explains a lot. I am so sorry I ever voted for Barack Obama.

But wait. Here is why we really need Rush Limbaugh.

On February 29, 2012, after referencing Fluke’s statement that “contraceptives can cost a woman over $3000 during law school”, Limbaugh stated:
What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke [sic], who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex, what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We’re the pimps. (interruption) The johns? We would be the johns? No! We’re not the johns. (interruption) Yeah, that’s right. Pimp’s not the right word. Okay, so she’s not a slut. She’s “round heeled”. I take it back.
He continued that day and stated:
Can you imagine if you’re her parents how proud of Sandra Fluke you would be? Your daughter goes up to a congressional hearing conducted by the Botox-filled Nancy Pelosi and testifies she’s having so much sex she can’t afford her own birth control pills and she agrees that Obama should provide them, or the Pope.

You see, my fellow Americans? We need people like Rush Limbaugh to remind us what sluts our wives, mothers, grandmothers, sisters and daughters are. Thank you, Rush.

However, all of this has not been without some expense to Rush.

Rush Limbaugh Blame Game – Sandra Fluke Slut Talk and the Ad Revenue Decline
By Staff
May 6, 2013
Rush Limbaugh Blame Game as Ad Revenue Declines
Rush Limbaugh says he is not to blame for the sagging ad revenues at his flagship WABC radio station.
However, it appears his boss believes he is to blame and Limbaugh has tired of hearing it and has threatened to quit at the end of his contract and take his radio audience elsewhere if Lew Dickey continues to blame Rush for the money woes.
The New York Daily News reveals the “slut” talk Rush raised about Sandra Fluke and the explosive controversy that followed is where the boss believes the ad revenues started to take a hit.

Can you believe that? Corporate advertisers, cowards that they are, are beginning to jump ship, frightened off by liberal groups pushing to Flush Rush.

Rush Limbaugh hurt by advertiser boycott
Political Buzz
May 6, 2013
By: Matthew Emmer
Reports emerged today that conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh’s radio carriage deal with Cumulus Media may be headed for the rocks over the massive advertiser boycott of Limbaugh. Cumulus CEO Lew Dickey, whose 40-station network carries Limbaugh’s radio show, recently stated that Cumulus has lost as much as $ 5.5 million due to the Limbaugh ad boycott. When Limbaugh called Georgetown University law student Sandra Fluke a “slut” on the air in early 2012 after Fluke called for health care coverage for contraception, many Americans said “enough is enough” and demanded that Limbaugh’s radio advertisers exit Limbaugh’s show. Many advertisers have done just that.

People, we do not want to flush Rush. Rush is and will likely remain a national treasure. We need Rush and people like him to counter the forces of reason in the world. I need him because from time to time I run out of stuff to write about, and that’s when Rush comes in handy, such as this morning.

So, keep Rush Limbaugh, even as sponsors abandon him. You will never be sorry. I swear to you that if there is a God in Heaven, then Rush Limbaugh is a tower of intellect and morality and a pillar of modern civilization. And the Earth is less than 10,000 years old.

Bad Movie of the Week

I can always count on Turner Classic Movies Saturday morning to get my Sunday morning Bad Movie of the Week. Here’s the latest.

OK, this movie has been around quite a while (53 years), and it’s in black and white. And it’s bad. It’s bad because it was meant to be bad. It’s really a spoof of horror films. It’s The Little Shop of Horrors.

From Wikipedia

The title graphics are innovative and refreshing, but production quality goes downhill from there. As suspected, a quick check with the Wikipedia entry reveals:

The Little Shop of Horrors was shot on a budget of $30,000 in two days utilizing sets that had been left standing from A Bucket of Blood.

As you may recall from the first time you saw the movie 53 years ago, the story is about Seymour, incredibly inept, who works at a florist shop. He brings in a flesh-eating plant he has bred from “butterwort and a Venus Flytrap.” The plant becomes an immediate hit with the shop’s walk-in traffic, and business at the shop balloons. However, Seymour needs to keep feeding the plant blood, which he gets from various people who get killed in the movie.

The plant is named Audrey, Jr., after shop employee Audrey Fulquard, played by Jackie Joseph. I have to say that the delightful Jackie Joseph was the thing I liked best about the movie.

The cast features some other odd characters. A very young Jack Nicholson is Wilbur Force, who is addicted to pain and visits the dentist (now deceased) to get his fill. Wally Campo and Jack Warford are two Los Angeles homicide cops who come to investigate the disappearance of a number of people in the neighborhood. They are obvious knockoffs of Dragnet detectives Joe Friday and his sidekick.

See it, so you can say you have. Of course, you could say so even though you have not, “but that would be wrong.”

I can always count on Turner Classic Movies Saturday morning to get my Sunday morning Bad Movie of the Week. Here’s the latest.

I am not a thinker, but I have a job that requires me to think.

People, it just does not get much better than this. The blinding stupidity of our public officials is getting world wide attention (so what else is new). This is from the Hindu Business Line. No surprise that it is also a hot item on American outlets, as well:

US judge says victim’s ‘body’ can prevent rape

Santa Ana (California), Dec 14:

A Southern California judge is being publicly admonished for saying a rape victim “didn’t put up a fight” during her assault and that if someone doesn’t want sexual intercourse, the body “will not permit that to happen.”

The California Commission on Judicial Performance voted 10-0 to impose a public admonishment yesterday, saying Superior Court Judge Derek Johnson’s comments were inappropriate and a breach of judicial ethics.

“In the commission’s view, the judge’s remarks reflected outdated, biased and insensitive views about sexual assault victims who do not ‘put up a fight.’ Such comments cannot help but diminish public confidence and trust in the impartiality of the judiciary,” wrote Lawrence J. Simi, the commission’s chairman.

OK, so Judge Johnson was properly reprimanded and by now sees the error of his ways. So all is well and good.

Photo from Reuters in the Latin Times

Not so fast there. Didn’t we just see this earlier in the year? It was just a few weeks ago that Congressman Todd Akin of Missouri was running for the United States Senate in that state, and the public got wind of his views on the matter. Congressman Akin holds (or did hold) the view that a woman cannot become pregnant as a result of “legitimate rape,” whatever that is. Did I mention before that Congressman Akin immediately dropped out of the race and that he left the country in shame and hid out somewhere in Eastern Siberia? In fact I mentioned no such thing, because Congressman Akin, elected to that position by the good people of his congressional district in Missouri, did not drop immediately quit the race, and he did not flee the country in shame. What really happened is that Congressman stayed in the race to represent the people of Missouri in the United States Senate, and he obtained a large number of votes from otherwise intelligent voters. OK, I take back that “otherwise” part. Miracle of all miracles, Todd Akin did lose the race to a more sensible candidate. So, what’s next after this small miracle, virgin birth?

Seriously, readers. These people would not say and do these stupid things on the public payroll if we would quit appointing them or electing them. It’s all our fault, and we are getting what we deserve. We are getting the ridicule of the Hindu Business Line.

And Your Little Dog, Too

Pat Robertson is my favorite creationist, and I just love him. I’m telling you that if ever he croaks and flies off to heaven I’m going to just… Just… Well, you know what. Now I must share with you the latest from Pat:

Robertson: ‘Miserable’ Atheists Trying to ‘Steal’ Christmas
Submitted by Brian Tashman on Monday, 11/19/2012 12:00 pm

The “War on Christmas” has arrived and the 700 Club is doing all it can to stoke fears that Christmas may cease to exist. Host Pat Robertson warned that “the Grinch is trying to steal our holiday” as “miserable” atheists “want to steal your holiday away from you” simply because they can’t stand the joy of Christmas. “Atheists don’t like our happiness, they don’t want you to be happy, they want you to be miserable,” he said. “They’re miserable so they want you to be miserable.”

And, folks, Pat is so right. I am terribly miserable. I am so miserable that every night I go to bed thinking about how miserable I am. I could just cry. Then I think about Pat and all the joy he has brought into my life, and I give a little smile and go right off to sleep.

And I want you all to be miserable, too. I want you to be miserable this Christmas season as you join your family around the Christmas tree and and enjoy a meal together and exchange gifts and share experiences. Just miserable.

So, thank you, Pat. Thank you for lifting me up in my time of misery. Thank you for bringing immense joy into my worthless life. You are such a godsend, Pat. Truly a gift from God if ever there was one.

So, Merry Christmas to all of you out there. Drink your holiday nog, sing carols and warm your feet around the fire. And join me in celebrating the most joyous creationist of them all.

And Merry Christmas to you, Pat. And a Happy New Year!

Religion and Politics

Did you notice that religious issues came up often in the most recent election. Words flew back and forth about who was a Christian, who was a Muslim, who was holier than whom. Then finally it was all over, and the religious issue was decided. For those of you who consider religion an important part of your politics, here is my brief assessment of what just transpired.

One candidate believes that nearly 2000 years ago a god disguised himself as a man and walked upon the earth for over 30 years before finally beginning to preach. This god-man then contrived to get himself tortured and killed. He then recovered from his death and walked upon the earth for over a month before ascending into outer space.

The other candidate believes that nearly 2000 years ago a god disguised himself as a man and walked upon the earth for over 30 years before finally beginning to preach. This god-man then contrived to get himself tortured and killed. He then recovered from his death and walked upon the earth for over a month before ascending into outer space.

This second candidate also believes that wearing magic underwear will protect the wearer from harm.

For those who want religion in their politics it is quite possible you received a bit less than you could have.

Thank You Note to a Real Conservative

This is a thank you note to Mitt Romney, a real conservative

Thank you for stepping briefly out of your life of comfort to mix briefly with ordinary people.

Thank you for taking the time to explain to the American public what you really think of them. The news media always appreciate it when an enlightening story is handed to them on an almost daily basis.

Thank you for selecting as a running mate a person who clearly and vocally reminded the public of of that which runs at the base of the Tea Party movement.

Thank you for your support of our dedicated military personnel and the sacrifices they daily endure to keep this country secure, even though you and your sons were never able to actually serve.

Thank you for taking full responsibility for the lack of success of your party’s effort to regain control of the presidency, even while other members of your party are blaming the loss on pandering to the masses.

Thank you for, by every action and word over the past year, working to ensure that a real representative of the American people would be able to serve them for another four years.
And finally thank you for reminding us what a person really means when he claims to be a conservative.

Photographic Evidence

I get these things all the time. I pick them up from news items, and “friends” post them on Facebook. I don’t know who makes these up, but I truly enjoy the effort. There are some that are hard-hitting, with a passel of bitterness, but many exhibit a great irony, and they are my favorites. Here are some:

Not Moving

Right before the election one of my Facebook friends posted a photo of the White House with a (Photoshopped) moving van in front. I thought to myself, “I’m going to wait for the next photo.” Here it is, the day after the election. Nobody is packing bags.

Irony Writ Large

I’ve seen this same image many times, each time with a fitting and ironic caption.

Alec Baldwin Speaks Out

This may seem like a low blow to the Republican Party, but for a long time the party of the self right has been exemplified by people who can’t keep their stories straight. And bear in mind that the people doing the laughing voted twice for a guy who ran this country with his fly unzipped.

To me the question is, “Did Paul Ryan really claim that God controls elections?” If he did make such a statement then he’s going to have a hard time explaining things to God. If he only thought about it, then apologies to Congressman Ryan.

We paid how much?

OK, this is just Democrats rubbing it in. But I do have to ask, “If they paid that much to lose, how much would they have had to pay to win?” In full disclosure I need to tell readers that I contributed part of that $1.83, and I got the government I paid for.

So much for the fun this week. Next weekend I am going to make you suffer for the laughter you enjoy today. Saturday it’s time again for the Bad Joke of the Week.

Liberal Media Bias

You know it. You’ve seen it. We all have. It’s been around a long time. There is hardly a conservative value that has not been stung by the scourge of liberal media bias. Now even the arch conservative Taliban are feeling the cut.

What the Taliban did was shoot a young school girl in the face. For that simple act of conservative pride they are now being lashed by the left-wing press. Liberal papers and news programming are brimming with glorification of the young girl’s virtue and her cause. No account is given for the deeply-held conservative values that required this action. The fundamentalist religious trigger man is cast as the lowest of the low with little regard for his deeply-held religious convictions. What else can you expect from the left wing liberal media?

I don’t need to remind readers of the bias that has permeated news reporting in this country for nearly 250 years. Good King George was among the first recipients.

Although he rightly held control of the lives of his English subjects with an authority handed down ultimately by the God we all knew and revere, the colonial press never gave him an even break. Quarter soldiers in colonist’s homes, and the press came down on him as though he were a common thief. Hold people without trial on trumped up charges, and the press accused him of being some kind of tyrant. Tax the colonists without giving them the benefit of representation in the taxing body, and reporters shouted “tyranny,” again. Never a regard for his divine right to rule.

And it didn’t end with George III. Later in the new country it was the slave owners who got in the crosshairs of the liberal news. Like slave owners didn’t have property rights? No balance shown and no quarter given.

So it also went with women’s suffrage and voting rights. Always the liberal media seemed to be there giving only one side of the story.

I wish I could say I am the only one who is shocked by the liberal media in this latest matter. Sadly, there are others:

From Pakistan:

Pakistani Taliban Declare War on Media

As Malala Yousafzai lands in Britain, still fighting for her life, militants complain that coverage of the schoolgirl’s shooting has been “biased” against them. Sami Yousafzai reports.

Lezget Real:

And We Thought Our Right Wing Hated “Media Bias”

Posted by: Linda Carbonell on October 18, 2012.

A small local, Urdu-language newspaper in Pakistan has uncovered terror attack plans by the Tahreek-i-Taliban Pakistan (TTP). On Saturday, Dawn reported a communique from TTP leader Hakimullah Mehsud directing “his subordinate to target the offices of media organizations in Karachi, Lahore, Rawalpindi, Islamabad and in other cities in the country especially those media organizations and media personalities who are denouncing TTP after attack on child activist Malalai Yousufzai.”

MSN:

Cry-baby Taliban declare war on ‘biased media’

The Taliban have added the world’s media to the long list of folks the militant jerks are at war with. Apparently surprised at the negative reaction to their attempted assassination of 14-year-old education campaigner Malala Yousafzai, they’re whining that the press is out to get them. “For days and days, coverage of the Malala case has shown clearly that the Pakistani and international media are biased,” a Pakistani Taliban commander, Jihad Yar said. “The Taliban cannot tolerate biased media.” But obviously they’re totally cool about shooting teenage girls in the head for wanting to go to school. “She was going to become a symbol of Western ideas, and the decision to eliminate her was correct,” the commander said

Newstrak India:

Pakistani media worried after Taliban threats for ‘biased’ coverage on Malala attack

London, Oct. 18 (ANI): Pakistani media has expressed fear at Taliban threats to target journalists after critical coverage of the shooting of teenage education activist Malala Yousufzai.

The 14-year-old, who earned international fame for raising her voice against Taliban oppression in Swat, was shot in the neck and head and two other girls sustained injuries when the Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) opened fire on their school van in Swat valley last Tuesday.

The TTP said it had shot her for “promoting secularism”.

What does a conservative religious organization like the Taliban need to do to get even-handed treatment from these liberal news people? As expected, the liberal New York Times covered the story as though some kind of crime had been committed:

After a Bullet in the Head, Assaults on a Pakistani Schoolgirl’s Character Follow

Last Updated | Wednesday, 5:26 p.m. As a Pakistani schoolgirl who was shot in the head by Taliban militants last week fights for her life in a British hospital, a battle to tarnish her reputation is being waged on social networks and news sites in Pakistan.

See what I mean? It’s as though the Taliban were creationists, which they are, but that’s beside the point. What else would you expect from a news organization that promotes the evolution and the science behind global warming? Fortunately we have real news outlets that look out for conservative values, and on whom we can rely for fair and balanced news. And you know who they are.

Honcho

Well now, doesn’t that just beat all. It would appear the Taliban are riled up again. Let’s see what it’s all about.

Taliban says its attack on Pakistani schoolgirl justified

(Reuters) – Taliban insurgents said on Tuesday that the Pakistani schoolgirl its gunmen shot in the head deserved to die because she had spoken out against the group and praised U.S. President Barack Obama.

OK, this time it’s a 14-year-old school girl. Well, I guess those guys can’t be too careful. I mean, if a wise-ass kid gets out of line you got to take her down. Shit, man, if they let a girl mouth off about them, then what’s next? An old man in a wheelchair shooting them the bird, maybe.

So, what did the young miss Malala Yousufzai do to get them so unhinged? Praised Barack Obama? No! You never can be too careful with these Taliban. Mention the president of the United States these days, and you can get the wrong kind of attention.

Of course right now they are off bragging about it. The guy who pulled trigger is most likely getting the bin Laden Order of Merit (BLOM) hung around his neck. When he finally goes into that dark night it’s going to be seventy-three virgins waiting for him. And no dried up old maids, either.

I’ve been trying to come up with an appropriate word for the trigger man and his cheering squad. Heroic popped into mind, but that was not a good fit. Courageous, noble, righteous, upstanding, I passed them all by. Religious came close, but I am concerned that if I use that term I will catch flak from some truly heroic, courageous, noble, righteous, upstanding religious people. Maybe my readers can come up with the term I’m looking for. I’m taking suggestions.

In the mean time I’m still going to wear my Obama t-shirt, but only around the house. I can’t be too careful. The Taliban could mistake me for an old codger.

Mr. Undecided

First you say you do and then you don’t,
And then you say you will and then you won’t,
You’re undecided now, so what are you gonna do?

Don’t you just love these politicians. I do. I love them so much it hurts. I don’t know what I would do without them. They bring light to my bleak existence.

Transcript: Rep. DesJarlais urged abortion

2:24PM EDT October 10. 2012 – NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — A freshman congressman running for re-election on a pro-life platform urged his pregnant mistress to get an abortion a decade ago, according to a transcript of the recorded conversation.

The undated phone recording appears to have been made before Republican Rep. Scott DesJarlais’ divorce from his wife, Susan, was finalized in 2001. In the undated conversation, DesJarlais tells the unidentified woman that he is concerned that she hadn’t taken steps toward terminating the pregnancy.

“You told me you’d have an abortion, and now we’re getting too far along without one,” DesJarlais said, according to the transcript. “If we need to go to Atlanta, or whatever, to get this solved and get it over with so we can get on with our lives, then let’s do it.”

See if I have all the facts straight in this story. The woman’s life and health were not in danger. There was no indication the pregnancy could not be carried to full term. The only things at stake were the reputations of the parties involved, the legal position of the future congressman and the convenience for all concerned. Except not the convenience of the fetus.

To a communist pinko left wing radical baby killer that would have been sufficient cause for an abortion on demand. But maybe not for a politician running on a so-called pro-life platform.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, to learn that politicians do not always expose their true beliefs and levels of commitment when begging for your vote. Here is a person who has no problem with abortions of convenience, but to get elected he must cozy up to a party that has attached itself to the mantra of no abortion for any reason. OK, some will go an exception in cases of imminent mortality, but forget about rape, incest or medical necessity.

Please, readers, when a politician stands before you and pleads your cause, do not for a moment accept he is opening his heart. He is reflecting his perception of your wishes and nothing more.

And, no, I am not shocked.

Ella Fitzgerald made the song famous back in 1939. It’s by Robin Shavers