Friday Funny

Possibly a new series

From Fox News

Let me see if I have this straight:

Republicans in the Alabama legislature reportedly are planning to introduce articles of impeachment against Alabama Governor Robert Bentley after he admitted to inappropriate conversations with a former top political aide.

Pressure has mounted around the 73-year-old Republican governor ever since he acknowledged last week that he made inappropriate sexual remarks to his former confidante and adviser, Rebekah Caldwell Mason, but denied having an affair with her.

Recordings obtained by The Associated Press purportedly show the governor, before his divorce, professing love to someone named Rebecca or Rebekah and telling her how much he enjoyed kissing and touching her. Mason resigned from his office Wednesday.

Jesus Christ! I did hear that right. A man, one Robert Bentley, was caught on the telephone, telling a woman, Rebekah Mason, he enjoyed kissing and touching her. And his fellow party members want him out of office. For this? Excuse me! Aren’t these the same people opposed to homosexuality and same sex marriage? Here is a fellow politician, implicated in a heterosexual relationship, and they’re threatening to can him over it. Dudes, after homosexual relationships and heterosexual relationships, there’s not much left. I need to have a conversation with Barbara Jean over this.

We all need to step back for just a moment. Maybe a little science lesson is in order. Where do I start?

How about if I start with a basic fact. There are maybe seven billion people on this planet. They every one of them got here somehow, ;and that somehow shares a common theme: sexual reproduction. Yes, people. If Governor Robert Bentley did not do what they are saying he did, then the Robert Bentley line would terminate forthwith. The same goes for all lines of descent.

Let me put it to my readers bluntly. People hump. That’s what they do. And it’s good for the human species. Everything else is Bat Shit Crazy.