Friday Funny

Number 75 of a series

In August this year nature struck the great state of Texas a terrible blow. Possibly 100,000 homes have been destroyed, many owners without flood insurance. Lives have been lost, and as I write this the death toll continues to climb. But I have worse to report.

The United States of America has suffered a tremendous loss of its own, something from which it may never recover. It has lost the southern state of Mississippi. I would laugh, but it hurts too much.

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State of Jake-Leg

Let me tell you what happened. There was this smart aleck, liberal Hollywood producer sitting around by his Beverly Hills pool, and he said to himself, “What I think I’ll do is make a video to ridicule the state of Mississippi.” So he phoned up Central Casting and told the agent there, “What I want is your most jake-leg collection of locals,” and the agent said, “I’ve got’em right here, C.B. Where do you want them to report.” And C.B. tells the agent to have them report over to the Warner Brother’s back lot, where they are going to find a set left over from a remake of Tobacco Road. And C.B. brought his video crew over to the set, and he shot the following video. It only took a few minutes, and he was done. Here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOXZjDIXV1A

So this has been posted on YouTube for more than three years, and it’s had over 128,000 views. So I watched the video, and I got a kick out of it, and I thought it was very well done and very funny, besides.

Then I got to thinking. What if I’m wrong. What if a smart aleck, liberal Hollywood producer didn’t produce this as a joke. And a deep frown creased my brow. What if this is real? Oh, Jesus, no!

You know what I’m beginning to think, readers? I’m beginning to think this may be what happened. Some jackass amateur took his camcorder into Mississippi and drove around looking for honest to goodness jake-leg? He talked to all kinds of people and received all manner of responses, and when he got back home with his footage he edited it and only left in the most jake-leg parts. And that’s what I’m looking at right now. I decided this could use some Skeptical Analysis.

Here are a few screen shots from the video. I have added selected transcripts to appropriate images. Let’s go:

Jake-LegState-01

Cue the banjo music. “I’m here in Mississippi, the poorest state in America. This is also the most conservative state in our union.”

Jake-LegState-02

“So, why is Mississippi so conservative?”

“Well, uh, you’re in the heart of the Bible Belt. We believe in family. We believe in Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

It’s a cute t-shirt. The right to bear arms, get it?

Jake-LegState-04

“Whoever gets elected needs to be family-orientated.”

Jake-LegState-12

“God should come into his mind in everything that he does.”

Jake-LegState-03

“You never liked the President, did you?”

“Never! And never will.”

“Why not?”

“One thing, his name’s ‘Obama.'”

Jake-LegState-04

“This is America. Our president should be American, not Muslim.”

Jake-LegState-03

“I don’t even like it when I see him on TV. I turn it off. I don’t like him.”

“You think he’s a foreigner?”

“No, it’s not because he’s black, because he’s a half-breed. But he’s black, too, but he’s a half-breed.”

Jake-LegState-05

“I guess I’m a little prejudiced.”

“Are you? You don’t like black people?”

“No. Not much.”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t.”

Jake-LegState-06

“I don’t care for government. They don’t show me anything.”

“You get food stamps.”

“Yeah, but I think I deserve food stamps. I have no employment.”

Jake-LegState-07

“I hate Obamacare. I think it’s retarded and pointless.”

“But a lot of people in Mississippi need health care.”

“Yeah.”

Jake-LegState-08

“Back when I was growin’ up and when my parents were growin’ up and when my grandparents were growin’ up, we didn’t have all of that, and people still made it.”

Jake-LegState-09

“And back then people pulled their own weight. They didn’t sit around waitin’ for everyone else to take care of ’em.”

Jake-LegState-10

“So you don’t care about the economy.”

“No. It’ll take care of itself. You put God back in the saddle, it’ll all be okay.”

Jake-LegState-06

“So, something’s not working here.”

“That’s right.”

“Voting Republican hasn’t worked for you.”

“But it could.”

“But it hasn’t.”

“It hasn’t, but it could.”

Jake-LegState-11

“Why is the poorest state the most conservative state?”

“We would rather go broke and die hungry, than to give up our moral beliefs.”

Jake-LegState-12

“I feel like that voting God and voting faith is more important to me than voting for free money or voting for a handout.”

Jake-LegState-11

“I’m goin’ to stand up for what I believe in, even if I go broke doin’ it.”

Jake-LegState-04

“We’re not goin’ to be pushed over. We lost the war, that’s true. But we’re not goin’ to be pushed around. We’re not goin’ to back down from what we believe.

Jake-LegState-13

“And like the tag on the front of my truck says, ‘The South is gonna rise again!'”

And that’s it. And what an amazing collection of jake-leg it is.

I give credit to these stalwarts from Mississippi. They will stand true to their cause. They hold personal conviction high and above material gain. And who knows. With this kind of conviction, with this strength of character, it is possible that some day the South will rise again. Once they get rid of a big load of jake-leg.

Politicians Say The Darndest Things

One of a continuing series

Yes, they do, dear readers. And I don’t make this stuff up:

yarber-tweet-about-potholes

All right! That is so interesting. This new mayor of the capitol city of Mississippi definitely has presidential potential. He’s right up there with current candidates of note:

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) launched his 2016 presidential campaign by announcing to the world that God wants a massive tax cut for the rich, and for tens of millions of Americans to lose their access to healthcare.

 

The foregoing wisdom is apparently derived from a video clip that is no longer available for public consumption. It’s been pulled from YouTube. And no wonder. One that has not been pulled is this:

“For so many Americans, the promise of America seems more and more distant,” he said, to the 10,000 gathered at the Lynchburg, Virginia, university for a mandatory thrice-weekly convocation, as reported by the Washington Examiner. “What is the promise of America? The idea that, the revolutionary idea, that this country was founded upon, which was our rights, they don’t come from man. They come from God Almighty. And it’s the purpose of the Constitution … to serve as chains, to bind the mischief of government.”

That is so encouraging to learn. Mr. Madison and Mr. Jefferson could have taken the summer off. God would have written the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. God would have made sure that slavery was illegal and that women had the right to vote. This is the same God who looked our for human rights in the past:

Leviticus 25:44-46 King James Version (KJV)

44 Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids.

45 Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession.

46 And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen for ever: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour.

Where would women be in today’s America were it not for the lessons provided by the Bible?

Judges 19:24-25 King James Version (KJV)

24 Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.

25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.

All of that taken care of, Mayor Yarber is setting God to work clearing potholes. May Jesus have mercy on our souls.