Let me tell you what happened. There was this smart aleck, liberal Hollywood producer sitting around by his Beverly Hills pool, and he said to himself, “What I think I’ll do is make a video to ridicule the state of Mississippi.” So he phoned up Central Casting and told the agent there, “What I want is your most jake-leg collection of locals,” and the agent said, “I’ve got’em right here, C.B. Where do you want them to report.” And C.B. tells the agent to have them report over to the Warner Brother’s back lot, where they are going to find a set left over from a remake of Tobacco Road. And C.B. brought his video crew over to the set, and he shot the following video. It only took a few minutes, and he was done. Here it is:
So this has been posted on YouTube for more than three years, and it’s had over 128,000 views. So I watched the video, and I got a kick out of it, and I thought it was very well done and very funny, besides.
Then I got to thinking. What if I’m wrong. What if a smart aleck, liberal Hollywood producer didn’t produce this as a joke. And a deep frown creased my brow. What if this is real? Oh, Jesus, no!
You know what I’m beginning to think, readers? I’m beginning to think this may be what happened. Some jackass amateur took his camcorder into Mississippi and drove around looking for honest to goodness jake-leg? He talked to all kinds of people and received all manner of responses, and when he got back home with his footage he edited it and only left in the most jake-leg parts. And that’s what I’m looking at right now. I decided this could use some Skeptical Analysis.
Here are a few screen shots from the video. I have added selected transcripts to appropriate images. Let’s go:
Cue the banjo music. “I’m here in Mississippi, the poorest state in America. This is also the most conservative state in our union.”
“So, why is Mississippi so conservative?”
“Well, uh, you’re in the heart of the Bible Belt. We believe in family. We believe in Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
It’s a cute t-shirt. The right to bear arms, get it?
“Whoever gets elected needs to be family-orientated.”
“God should come into his mind in everything that he does.”
“You never liked the President, did you?”
“Never! And never will.”
“One thing, his name’s ‘Obama.'”
“This is America. Our president should be American, not Muslim.”
“I don’t even like it when I see him on TV. I turn it off. I don’t like him.”
“You think he’s a foreigner?”
“No, it’s not because he’s black, because he’s a half-breed. But he’s black, too, but he’s a half-breed.”
“I guess I’m a little prejudiced.”
“Are you? You don’t like black people?”
“No. Not much.”
“I just don’t.”
“I don’t care for government. They don’t show me anything.”
“You get food stamps.”
“Yeah, but I think I deserve food stamps. I have no employment.”
“I hate Obamacare. I think it’s retarded and pointless.”
“But a lot of people in Mississippi need health care.”
“Back when I was growin’ up and when my parents were growin’ up and when my grandparents were growin’ up, we didn’t have all of that, and people still made it.”
“And back then people pulled their own weight. They didn’t sit around waitin’ for everyone else to take care of ’em.”
“So you don’t care about the economy.”
“No. It’ll take care of itself. You put God back in the saddle, it’ll all be okay.”
“So, something’s not working here.”
“Voting Republican hasn’t worked for you.”
“But it could.”
“But it hasn’t.”
“It hasn’t, but it could.”
“Why is the poorest state the most conservative state?”
“We would rather go broke and die hungry, than to give up our moral beliefs.”
“I feel like that voting God and voting faith is more important to me than voting for free money or voting for a handout.”
“I’m goin’ to stand up for what I believe in, even if I go broke doin’ it.”
“We’re not goin’ to be pushed over. We lost the war, that’s true. But we’re not goin’ to be pushed around. We’re not goin’ to back down from what we believe.
“And like the tag on the front of my truck says, ‘The South is gonna rise again!'”
And that’s it. And what an amazing collection of jake-leg it is.
I give credit to these stalwarts from Mississippi. They will stand true to their cause. They hold personal conviction high and above material gain. And who knows. With this kind of conviction, with this strength of character, it is possible that some day the South will rise again. Once they get rid of a big load of jake-leg.