Friday Funny

One of a series

Religion-ThankGodForDisasterBettyBowers

It’s Friday again, and I’m running out of funny. Just kidding. There’s always enough funny to go around, especially on Friday. Religious nut case Pat Robertson is a reliable source, even if others were to run dry:

I think, somehow, the Lord’s plan is being put in place for America and these people are not only revolting against Trump, they’re revolting against what God’s plan is for America. These other people have been trying to destroy America. These left-wingers and so-called progressives are trying to destroy the country that we love and take away the freedoms they love. They want collectivism. They want socialism. What we’re looking at is free markets and freedom from this terrible, overarching bureaucracy. They want to fight as much as they can but I think the good news is the Bible says, “He that sits in the heavens will laugh them to scorn,” and I think that Trump’s someone on his side that is a lot more powerful than the media.

In case you miss the point, an imaginary holy man is coming to the defense of an imaginary president and accusing his detractors of running athwart an imaginary entity. What could be funnier than that?

Bat Shit Crazy

Ninth of a series

creationism-genocideandincestpark

It’s Wednesday. What’s bat shit crazy today? How about that weird theme park in Kentucky. Start with the story by Ed Mazza in The Huffington Post:

Creationist Ken Ham’s Giant ‘Noah’s Ark’ To Feature Dinosaurs vs. Giants Diorama

A new display going into the creationist Noah’s Ark attraction in Kentucky shows what appears to be gladiator-style fights involving humans, giants and a dinosaur.

Ken Ham, founder of the group that runs the attraction, tweeted images of the new diorama on Thursday.

If there is a reason to reject religion, this is one of them. Ham’s Answers in Genesis is described by Wikipedia as a parachurch organization promoting pseudo science:

Answers in Genesis (AiG) is a fundamentalist Christian apologeticsparachurch organization. It advocates a literal or historical-grammatical interpretation of the Book of Genesis, with a particular focus on a pseudoscientificyoung Earth creationism which rejects any results of scientific investigation which do not conform to their literal interpretation of the Genesis creation narrative. The organization sees evolution as incompatible with scripture and believes anything other than the young earth view is a compromise on biblical inerrancy.

AiG began as the Creation Science Foundation in 1980, following the merger of two Australian creationist groups. Its name changed to Answers in Genesis in 1994, when Ken Ham founded the organization’s United States branch. In 2006 the branches in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and South Africa split from the US and UK to form Creation Ministries International. In 2007, AiG opened the Creation Museum, a facility that promotes young Earth creationism, and in 2016 the organization opened the Ark Encounter, a Noah’s Ark themed amusement park. AiG also publishes websites, magazines, and journals.

Readers of this blog have previously been exposed to creationist Ken Ham:

If you’re like me, you are by now saying, “This is really neat stuff.” Also, if you’re like me by now you’re saying, “How come none of this is mentioned in the Bible?” Creationists (and many devout Christians) tell me I should look for answers in the Bible. I have seen statements in the past that the Bible is the only book we need. I have heard that all usable knowledge comes from the Bible. Creationist Ken Ham comes close to this:

And I do believe there can’t be other intelligent beings in outer space because of the meaning of the gospel. You see, the Bible makes it clear that Adam’s sin affected the whole universe. This means that any aliens would also be affected by Adam’s sin, but because they are not Adam’s descendants, they can’t have salvation. One day, the whole universe will be judged by fire, and there will be a new heavens and earth. God’s Son stepped into history to be Jesus Christ, the “Godman,” to be our relative, and to be the perfect sacrifice for sin—the Savior of mankind.

Unbelievable!

That said… I spill a lot of ink making fun of religion and those who buy into it. The fact is, religion is one of those human foibles that has lasted throughout history. There doesn’t seem to have been any time and in any culture where belief in the unbelievable has not been rampant. The young-Earth creationists, as epitomized by Ken Ham and AiG is one more, albeit egregious, example.

Back when I lived in Dallas I attended the creationists’ meetings and got to know people like Don Patton, leader of a local group. One thing that kept coming out was that many have religious conviction so based on the Bible that the Bible must be literally true to validate their lives. Despite protestations of some religious people, a literal take on the Bible is that the Earth and everything else turned 6000 years old back in 1997. It was a date easily marked, and I observed the exact date with a small celebration with friends. It was also my birthday.

The age of the Earth is critical to this brand of creationism, and to validate this, dinosaurs and humans must have co-existed. At this point religious faith runs head on into a considerable body of fact, making religion and science mutually exclusive. All evidence indicates the last of the dinosaurs left their fossils about 65 million years ago. Then the dinosaurs vanished forever from this planet. The oldest fossils considered to be from direct human ancestors are in the order of three million years old. This leaves a sizable interval when neither dinosaurs nor humans existed, making the story of Ken Ham’s diorama the height of absurdity. Bat shit crazy.

The story behind Ham’s Ark Encounter theme park involves more than private religious faith. It involves other people’s money:

A state agency remade by Gov. Matt Bevin last week has approved $18 million in tax breaks to a Grant County amusement park that will feature a “life-size” Noah’s Ark.

The $92 million Ark Encounter project, owned by the same company as the Creation Museum in Petersburg, is scheduled to open July 7.

The tax break initially was approved by the Kentucky Tourism Development Finance Authority in 2014 under Gov. Steve Beshear’s administration, but it was later canceled after tourism officials learned that the theme park would hire only Christians. Bob Stewart, then secretary of the Tourism, Arts and Heritage Cabinet, said the U.S. Constitution prohibited the state from assisting a religious endeavor.

Ark Encounter officials sued the state in federal court, saying the state’s decision to withhold the tax break violated its free speech. In January, U.S. District Judge Greg Van Tatenhove ruled that the theme park was eligible to receive the tax incentive, which has neutral requirements that can be met by religious and secular groups alike. Gov. Matt Bevin said the state would not appeal the decision.

Most interesting. A theme park, which is little more than an edifice to proselytize for a religious sect is given public money in the form of a tax incentive. Make one thing clear: the state of Kentucky is not just giving the theme park a pass on paying certain taxes. This is tax money raised from other sources. Dan Phelps, known to us when he lived in Texas and was a member of The North Texas Skeptics, was also interviewed:

Ken Ham, president of Answers in Genesis, has said previously the project will hire only Christians but won’t discriminate among denominations.

“It is extremely unfortunate that the state is giving tax incentives to an organization that will discriminate against Kentucky citizens,” said Daniel Phelps, head of the Kentucky Paleontological Society and a longtime critic of the project.

In particular, note what Ken Ham has said. Jews and Muslims need not apply. I’m guessing this goes for atheists, as well. Somewhere the meaning of the Establishment Clause has been lost.

And this is just bat shit crazy.

Dying to Believe

Some more of the same

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Readers, it’s not only Jesus who allows children to die from neglect. The parents of Seth Johnson believed they knew more about medicine than the doctors:

MINNEAPOLIS – A Minnesota couple face child neglect charges following the March death of their 7-year-old son, whom officials say died of pancreatitis without medical attention because his parents had “issues going to doctors,” reports CBS Minnesota.

CBS News additionally reported the Johnsons relied on prayer when young Seth’s behavior began to change for the worse. They were concerned that doctors would treat the child with medications:

In the days before Seth’s death, his parents were out of town for a wedding, leaving their son in the care of an older sibling. The night they returned, the Johnsons found their son hardly moving and said he didn’t react when they “prayed for his health.”

Jesus could not be contacted for comment.

My Johnson

godhatescargopants

This is interesting:

President Donald Trump vowed Thursday to repeal a ban on churches engaging in political campaigning, while his administration also was exploring other steps to expand religious rights, including increased protections for individuals, organizations and employers acting on their faith.

Trump said at the National Prayer Breakfast on Thursday morning that his administration “will do everything in its power to defend and protect religious liberty.” He said he would seek the repeal of the Johnson Amendment passed by Congress in 1954, which prohibits many nonprofit organizations, including churches and charities, from endorsing political candidates.

Allow me to interpret. Granting churches tax-exempt status is one thing. What it means is that money contributed to churches by a person filing an income tax return can deduct that contribution from the gross income number before using that number to compute the tax owed. That’s a good thing. People giving money to an organization that does charitable work should be encouraged.

The other thing is allowing churches to engage in politics—support candidates. Here is what that means. It means I can form a church. I can call my church The Church of the Golden Shower. My church can hold services, on Saturday nights, at Dave and Busters. My church can collect funds from kind-hearted businessmen. These businessmen can contribute millions of dollars each to my church. I will use that money to pay for producing campaign ads and for purchasing air time on Fox News and CNN. And those millions of dollars will be deducted from the gross income on the tax forms of those millionaire businessmen, saving them a goodly amount in taxes. They will be encouraged to contribute more.

Wait, you say. That’s not a church. That’s a political action committee, a PAC. No, my brother. It’s a church if I say it’s a church, because in reality that is the only way a church can be defined. To force a measure of conformity on the definition of a church would be a form of religious persecution, since this would allow the government to outlaw certain churches while giving others protection from religious discrimination.

I’m on the board of directors of a non-profit corporation registered as a 501 (c) (3) organization in Texas. Currently we accept tax-deductible donations, and we do not engage in political activism. Minus the Johnson Amendment, that is going to change, my friends. Keep your heads down.

You say this isn’t going to fly, my Johnson!

Friday Funny

One of a series

religion-extremistspotusshield

I should have reserved this one for last Friday. Anyhow, it’s Friday again—time to see what’s funny today. It’s never very far to look:

What is POTUS Shield?

council of prelates assembling to raise up a spiritual shield in Washington, D.C. prior to President-Elect Donald Trump’s inauguration. We are summoned to share and lead this anointed assembly in intercession, prayers, declarations, and decrees of The Word of the Lord over our nation.

Yes! You are not mistaken. You heard that correctly. “A spiritual shield in Washington,” prior to the inauguration of Donald Trump. Right now you are asking, “Just how is that supposed to work?”

People, you just elected a “Lord over our nation.” You don’t need a second one. What were you thinking?

And that is funny.

Friday Funny

One of a series

http://ptv.org

Fridays are for fun, and also funny. I have discovered that funny can arrive unbidden, but welcome, nonetheless:

Instead of ridding public library shelves of ”Heather Has Two Mommies” and ”Daddy’s Roommate,” a Baptist minister’s protest has put more copies in circulation.

The minister, Robert Jeffress, pastor of the 4,400-member First Baptist Church, was surprised when he learned that the Wichita Falls library was lending the books about children with gay parents. When a church member checked out the books and brought them to Mr. Jeffress, he wrote a check for $54 to the library after vowing never to return them.

But so many people wanted to read the books after an article about the situation appeared in The Wichita Falls Times Record News that the library’s administrator, Linda Hughes, is applying library rules intended to limit how long patrons must wait. The policy calls for obtaining more copies when six or more people are waiting for a book. ”We have 10 holds on each one of these books,” Ms. Hughes said on Thursday. ”We are past the point at which we would have to buy more copies.”

Sympathetic book lovers had donated 15 copies by late this week, Ms. Hughes said. ”I’ve been getting them in the mail and through the drop box,” she said. ”Most of them are brand new.”

In case you did not notice, that is Dallas’ own Robert Jeffress, always delighted to  entertain us. And he is funny.

Keep reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

Your Intelligence Insulted For Free

This does not appear to be a theatrical release, so it’s not being reviewed as a Bad Movie of the Week or even as a Bad Movie Wednesday. It’s something I caught on Amazon Prime Video, and in that respect I’m watching for free. Hence the title. A quick Internet search failed to turn up an analysis of this particular viewing, though there are a number of others with the same title. One is free on YouTube.

It’s The Rapture, no link available. Amazon has this to say about it:

We’ve all heard of the Rapture, and the rumored “second coming.” But what about a third coming? And has it been predicted, before our eyes, in the Book of Revelation? Unveil the shocking theories of scholars in this doc.

Credits list David Priest and Laura Pacini as editors. Technical consultants are

  • Dr. Noah Hutchings
  • Dr. Roy Knuteson
  • Patrick Lumbroso
  • Dr. Randall Price
  • Marsha Rano
  • Les Stevenson

Researchers are

  • Diane Cowan
  • Gerald Magnuson
  • Barbara Petty

The release date is stated as 2006. Dr. Charles Thurston, M.D. explains the concept. He is director of the Evidences Biblical Institute. This Dr. Charles Thurston, M.D. is not to be confused with Dr. Charles Thurston, M.D. from San Antonio, where I live.

therapture-01

Imagine, if you will, you are flying in an airplane, and suddenly the person sitting in the seat next to you disappears. Vanishes. No warning. No goodbye. I would even think in mid-sentence if a conversation were going on. What if one of the disappeared people were the pilot, with disastrous consequences. Even people driving automobiles, on the freeway. Driver-less cars careen into others, into  immovable objects. People all around just vanish without warning.

Something strange, to be sure. But consider those who don’t disappear. What about them? What about those left behind? And there’s the clue. This is going to be another of those Left Behind movies. A clip somewhere deeper into this video’s 50-minute run shows the late Dr. Tim LaHaye, co-author of the Left Behind publications. Now you really know you have come here to have your intelligence insulted.

therapture-06

Wikipedia relates the inspiration for Left Behind:

LaHaye indicates that the idea for the series came to him one day circa 1994, while he was sitting on an airplane and observed a married pilot flirting with a flight attendant. He wondered what would befall the pilot if the Rapture happened at that moment. The first book in the series opens with a similar scene. He sold the movie rights for the Left Behind series and later stated he regretted that decision, because the films turned out to be “church-basement videos”, rather than “a big-budget blockbuster” that he had hoped for.

And that introduces the concept of the rapture and the title of this production. The late Ernest Martin explains the rapture, a fairly modern idea. Martin was the author of The Essentials of New Testament, among other works.

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Wikipedia has some background on Ernest Martin:

Martin proposed a recalculation of the birth of Jesus in his books The Birth of Christ Recalculated (1978) and The Star that Astonished the World(1996). He argued that the “Star of Bethlehem” was the planet (or “wandering star” in antiquity) Jupiter, or Zedeq (“Righteousness”) in Hebrew, leading the wise men to Jesus in Bethlehem on December 25, 2 BCE, coinciding with the Jewish Festival of Lamps or Hanukkah that year. Dr. Martin argued that the birth of Jesus happened on the evening of September 11, 3 BCE, which corresponds to Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year on the first of Tishri on the Jewish calendar.[3]

In his 1999 book The Temples that Jerusalem Forgot, Martin argued that the Haram al-Sharif is not the location of the last Temple. This was significant given his relationship with Herbert W. Armstrong whose editorial in The Plain Truth magazine was cited by Denis Michael Rohan as a reason for setting fire to the Al Aqsa mosque during the 1960s.

The basis of this work began with Martin’s first visit to Jerusalem in 1961 when he first met Benjamin Mazar and later his son Ory Mazar, who informed him of his belief that the Temples of Solomon and Zerubbabel were located on the Ophel mound to the north of the original Mount Zion on the southeast ridge. In a 1996 draft report to support this theory Martin wrote: “I was then under the impression that Simon the Hasmonean (along with Herod a century later) moved the Temple from the Ophel mound to the Dome of the Rock area.” However, after studying the words of Josephus concerning the Temple of Herod the Great, which was reported to be in the same general area of the former Temples, he then read the account of Eleazar who led the final contingent of Jewish resistance to the Romans at Masada which stated that the Roman fortress was the only structure left by 73 C.E. “With this key in mind, I came to the conclusion in 1997 that all the Temples were indeed located on the Ophel mound over the area of the Gihon Spring“. From these conclusions Martin produced his book in which he asserted that the Temples of Jerusalem were located over the Gihon Spring and not over the Dome of the Rock. He wrote: “What has been amazing to me is the vast amount of Jewish, Muslim, and Christian records that remain available from the first to the sixteenth centuries that clearly vindicate the conclusions that I have reached in this book of research.

Other works included Restoring the Original Bible (1984), Secrets of Golgotha (1987), 101 Bible Secrets (1991), The Biblical Manual (1985) and The Essentials of New Testament Doctrine (1999).

Martin explains the origin of the rapture, as viewed in current times. A 15-year-old Irish-Scottish girl named Margaret McDonald was ill in bed and had a vision of the End Times. This was in  1830, so the concept is modern relative compared to all biblical history. Wikipedia gives a history at variation with the video:

The rise in belief in the pre-tribulation rapture is often wrongly attributed to a 15-year-old Scottish-Irish girl named Margaret McDonald who was of the first to receive a spiritual baptism under a Pentecostal awakening in Scotland. In 1830, she had a vision of the end times which describes a post-tribulation view of the rapture that was first published in 1840. It was published again in 1861, but two important passages demonstrating a post-tribulation view were removed to encourage confusion concerning the timing of the rapture. The two removed segments were, “This is the fiery trial which is to try us. – It will be for the purging and purifying of the real members of the body of Jesus” and “The trial of the Church is from Antichrist. It is by being filled with the Spirit that we shall be kept”.

Cutting to the chase, the end of days notion is supported in the Bible almost solely by a few lines of text in 1 Corinthians:

therapture-04

From Bible Gate here is the full text:

50 I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— 52 in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

The video presents a number of others weighing in on this fanciful fabrication, and the late Dr. J.R. Church is one of them.

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Dr. Church was author of Hidden Prophecies in the Psalms, which is available in paperback from Amazon. A variant seems also to be available for one penny from Amazon.

If by now you have noticed that a number of the contributors to this production have already left for another world, then you are not alone. For one, I feel fortunate to be among the left behind.

No biblical prophecy story would be complete without some choice religious art, and this has its share.

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Where this seriously gets silly is where it stands fast for the veracity of ancient prophecies. Some quotes:

Narrator: When it comes to accuracy no one can hold a candle to the biblical prophets. Their record of prophecy is so far unblemished by any failure. Over 400 prophecies regarding the birth and the life of the savior were fulfilled in every respect. And many of us are witness to the fulfillment of prophecy in our own time, the prophecies of Ezekiel being just one example.

Whoa boy! Will the whoppers ever cease? Regarding fulfilled prophecies, Ezekiel should never be mentioned. Examples abound:

  • Ezekiel prophesies that Tyrus will be completely destroyed by Nebuchadrezzar and will never be built again. But it wasn’t destroyed, as evidenced by the visits to Tyre by Jesus and Paul (Mt 15:21, Mk 7:24, 31, Acts 21:3). 26:14,21, 27:36, 28:19
  • Ezekiel prophesies that Israel will reside in its homeland safely and securely, never again to fight neighboring nations. 28:24-26
  • Ezekiel makes another false prophecy: that Egypt would be uninhabited by humans or animals for forty years after being destroyed by Nebuchadrezzar. But there was never a time when Egypt was uninhabited. Humans and animals have lived there continuously since Ezekiel’s prophecy. 29:10-11
  • The rivers of Egypt (identified as the Nile in NIV, NASB, and RSV) shall dry up. This has never occurred. 30:12

This production further stretches weird when it begins to invoke Nostradamus:

Skeptics cast doubt upon the interpretation of Nostradamus’s quatrains (Randi 1993). Here is how James Randi and Cheetham read one of the more famous quatrains, allegedly predicting the rise of Adolph Hitler to power in Germany:

Bêtes farouches de faim fleuves tranner;
Plus part du champ encore Hister sera,
En caige de fer le grand sera treisner,
Quand rien enfant de Germain observa. (II.24)

Cheetham’s version:

Beasts wild with hunger will cross the rivers,
The greater part of the battle will be against Hitler.
He will cause great men to be dragged in a cage of iron,
When the son of Germany obeys no law.

Randi’s version:

Beasts mad with hunger will swim across rivers,
Most of the army will be against the Lower Danube.
The great one shall be dragged in an iron cage
When the child brother will observe nothing.

Neither translation seems to make much sense, but at least Randi’s recognizes that “Hister” refers to a geographical region, not a person. So does “Germania,” by the way; it refers to an ancient region of Europe, north of the Danube and east of the Rhine. It may also refer to a part of the Roman Empire, corresponding to present-day northeastern France and part of Belgium and the Netherlands. (Because Hister is an ancient name for the Danube region near Hitler’s childhood home, some think the reference is clearly to him.)

This is typical of interpretations of ancient prophecies. You wait for an event to happen. Then you interpret the prophecy in this light and suddenly realize, “Oh, dear Jesus, it was staring us in the face all this time.”

This production has little in the way of dramatic content. Although actors have been employed to portray some sequences (Margaret McDonald, Nostradamus, etc.), much of this is stock footage and interviews with biblical apologists. A quantity of the stock footage depicts modern day disasters, floods, fires, riots.

Strangely, Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein prominently portrays modern despotism in action, but there is no mention of his downfall and subsequent execution by hanging. This despite his death being in December the year this was released.

Friday Funny

One of a series

religion-bibleversecomparison

Friday again, and some things are almost too funny for words. For example…

Recently our representative at the United Nations, apparently under the direction of current President Obama, declined to vote on a resolution that, among other things, condemns Israel for continuing to build settlements in occupied territory in violation of international  law.

This action, or rather non-action, caught a lot of flak from people who side with Israel in this spat. For the record, no other member nation of the UN sides with Israel in this matter. An item posted by Jewish Voice Ministries International sums up the case for Israel:

The Land was Given to Israel

The Land was given by God to the descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Regardless of what the U.N. decides or decided in 1948, the Land was given to the  Children of Israel by God as an everlasting inheritance. Beginning with Genesis chapters 12 and 15 there are hundreds of Scriptures that make this truth crystal clear. Regardless of what any government decides, this is the bottom line- the Bible is Jewish People’s Land deed to Israel. God said it and that settles it. As Christians, we must believe, accept and set ourselves in agreement with what the Scriptures teach. God, in His sovereignty, gave this Land to the Jewish People, and who are we to question His decision? While this does not mean that we should condone all that Israel does, we must understand that this is an unconditional promise in God’s word and support this Divine decision.

Putting this into perspective:

  • A document, written by ancient Jews,
  • Describes the disputed land as a gift to the Hebrews made by an imaginary being,
  • Said person having been invented by the Jews.

According to ancient writings, the Hebrews escaped slavery in Egypt and wandered through the wilderness for 40 years before settling in what is now Israel and the occupied Arab lands. Set aside for a moment the apparent fact that the Hebrews were never ever enslaved in Egypt, in fact never were in Egypt but were for all previous accountable time in the exact disputed region. Taking the story as a basis for Israel’s claim to the land settled by their Arab neighbors, then a thinking  person has to ask. “How come it is when people wandering in the wilderness hear a voice in their heads, this voice always says, this land is your land, take it.” The voice never says, “Some other people already live here. You’re going to have to move on.” How come the voices in people’s heads, voices only they can hear, always seem to tell them what they would prefer to hear?

There is something very funny about all of this.

Snowflake Constituency

For some reason, you figure it out, I subscribe to a newsletter called En-Volve (envolve.com). It advertises “Conservative Headlines,” “Politics,” “Election 2016,” “Social Justice,” and more. It comes to my mail box from “Trump News.” I have no assurance this source has anything to do with the President-elect, but I have cataloging messages from Trump News from back in October. Whatever this is, it’s sure to be a gold mine of conservative wisdom. Time to mine it:

Muslims Threaten Company to Bow To Their Demands. Company FIRES THEM ALL!

The news item, which I will get to shortly, came with this image:

politics-conservativestrumpnewsmuslimsfired

I particularly wanted to post this image, because I am about 100% sure it has nothing to do with the story from En-Volve. Here’s more of the story:

Posted on December 29, 2016 by

A report coming in from Denver  says that Muslims were praying at their place of work, which was allowed by company policy in the past. However, recently the company changed that policy and said that if they would like to pray, they could go home.

This isn’t an unreasonable request, but the Muslims in question were outraged and staged a 200 worker walkout. When some returned, the company said “pack your bags!”

About 190 workers, most of them immigrants from Somalia, have been fired from a meat packing and distribution plant on Colorado’s Eastern Plains for walking off the job to protest a workplace prayer dispute.

Ten days ago more than 200 workers walked off their jobs at Cargill Meat Solutions in Fort Morgan.

Depending on the season, the Muslim workers prayed at different times of the day, typically in about five-to-10 minute blocks, Hussein said. But recently a decision was made at the plant to change the practice.

“The workers were told: ‘If you want to pray, go home,’ ” Hussein said.

We all know that the liberals in this country will do everything in their power to make these delicate little snowflakes feel at home in the U.S. by allowing them to do pretty much whatever they want. And Cargill even tried to appease them before the now-infamous incident.

And there’s the cute phrase I was looking for—”delicate little snowflakes.” These workers are Muslim. They are also “delicate little snowflakes.” What a handy term.

Full disclosure: I have no truck with giving religious exemption in any case, and, call me a bleeding heart liberal if you want, but I would have fired employees who walked off the job over such a tiff.

The story further notes some of those fired had ten years with the company and had previously been allowed to pray at work in a set-aside space. A. Michael Smith, writing for En-Volve, commented additionally, “Other companies should follow Cargill’s example: don’t bow to radical Muslims, treat them like you would any other worker and fire their asses if they are being unreasonable!”

Yeah! Snowflakes!

Speaking of snowflakes:

“Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. I don’t know,” Donald Trump said on Monday night at a speech in Springfield, Illinois. “Seriously, I don’t care.”

It was a rare moment of trollish apathy for the Donald, considering that he was referring to the kind of peevish campaign that’s right up his alley: a video going around the Internet by a guy named Joshua Feuerstein—he calls himself “an American evangelist, Internet, and social media personality”—raging against “the age of political correctness” and the new seasonal coffee cups at Starbucks.

“Do you realize that Starbucks wanted to take Christ, and Christmas, off of their brand-new cups? That’s why they’re just plain red,” he says.

That’s right. Plastic coffee cups at Starbucks. People, what we have here is a snowflake constituency. I’m thinking this is going to be a fun four years.

Keep reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

Friday Funny

One of a series

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Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, thank you, thank you:

Evangelist Franklin Graham doesn’t believe it was the Russians who intervened in this year’s controversial presidential election.

It was God, he declared during President-elect Donald Trump’s final public rally before the Electoral College vote Monday.

“I don’t have any scientific information. I don’t have a stack of emails to read to you,” Graham told the crowd in Mobile, Ala., according to the Washington Examiner. “But I have an opinion: I believe it was God. God showed up. He answered the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people across this land who had been praying for this country.”

God moves in mysterious ways.

And that is funny.