Quiz Question

Number 265 of a series

A shadowy figure in the previous World War was Nazi military operative Otto Skorzeny. He is famous for his elaborate operation to free Benito Mussolini from prison, and later he headed up an operation to subvert Allied defenses in the Battle of the Bulge. He and his men dressed up as American soldiers and infiltrated American lines. They spoke perfect English, but Americans caught on and began to ask suspicious characters questions from American culture. Like, who or what are the White Sox?

Decades have come and gone, and we now learn American troops are finding a bounty on their heads. We can never be too careful. That stranger you meet on the street could be a Russian assassin. Here are some questions you should ask. Only a real American can answer correctly.

  • How many days did it take to hitch hike from Saginaw?
  • So, you drove your Chevy to the levee. What did you find there?
  • Where did you leave your heart?
  • You should set your feet to the sunny side of what?
  • What does Old Man River keep doing?
  • “Ain’t …” What is it you ain’t doing?
  • You need to get out of the way of Old Dan Tucker, because he’s too late to get what?
  • There are no stars up in the sky. Why?
  • I can’t get no… What is it I can’t get no?
  • If you got the previous one, then this will be easy. I see a red door, and I want to paint it what color?
  • How long is the Camptown racetrack?
  • What can you get at Alice’s Restaurant?

You know what? If a stranger can answer all these correctly he’s obviously a Russian agent. Shoot him?

Bad Joke of the Week

One of a Continuing Series

A Priest Was Being Honored At His Retirement Dinner. One Of The Speakers Shocked Everyone.

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: Thank Goodness we Catholics have a wonderful sense of humor! “l got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife; had sex with his boss’s daughter on numerous occasions, taken illegal drugs; was arrested several times for public nudity and gave VD to his sister
in-law.

I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things. But as the days went on, I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.’

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: “I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,’ said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

Quiz Question

Number 264 of a series

There are three switches, call them A, B, and C, mounted on the wall outside a closet. There is a light inside the closet. When the closet door is closed it is impossible to tell whether the light is on or off. One switch controls the light. The other two are not connected to anything.

The light is off. Your job is to close the closet door and determine which switch, A,B,C, controls the light. You are not allowed to flip any of the switches while the door is open. You get one shot to tell which switch controls the light. How do you do it?

Post your answer in the comments section below.

Update and Solution

My solution. Tell me if I’m wrong. Do this:

  • The light is off. Close the door. Turn on switch B. Go get some breakfast.
  • Don’t touch switch A.
  • Turn off switch B and turn on switch C.
  • Open the door.
  • If the light is on the answer is switch C.
  • If the light is off ans warm the answer is switch B.
  • Else it is switch A.

Bad Joke of the Week

One of a Continuing Series

Some odds and ends

I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

Caution. If you heard 20 minutes of moaning from my bedroom, that was just me trying to stand up.

Fun to watch Republicans tell us Michael Cohen has no credibility when he was deputy finance chair for their National Committee.

Roger Stone claims he is being treated worse than Osama bin Laden. Bin Laden could not be reached for comment.

Russia, if you are listening, can we get a copy of the Mueller Report?

Cделать Америку великой снова.

Quiz Question

Number 263 of a series

See the diagram above. The top figure shows a steel bar supported at its ends. It is one inch thick, and it will support 6000 pounds.

The contractor does not have any one-inch-thick bars, so he stacks two 1/2-inch-thick bars instead. How much weight will this arrangement support?

Post your answer in the comments section below. Extra points if you explain your answer.

Quiz Question

Number 261 of a series

The answer is not in this book.

It was long said the sun never sets on the British Empire. Then things changed. But the saying remains true. There is one place on this planet where the sun is still shining on the British Empire while the sun is down on the remainder. Where/what is this place?

If you do not know the answer already, then you are allowed to research it. Post your answer in the comments section below.

Quiz Question

Number 258 of a series

You are in a state in the United States of America. You will need to cross three states to reach an ocean, bay, gulf. For example, if you were in Arizona you would have to cross California or the Mexican state of Sonora to reach the Pacific or the Gulf of California. What state are you in?

Post your answer in the comments section below. Hint, it’s not Florida.

Quiz Question

Number 257 of a series

I usually pull one of these from something on the Internet. I made this one up. I’m sure it’s already in somebody’s geometry book.

The diagram above shows two intersecting spheres. Each has a diameter of 4. The distance between their centers is 2. What is the volume shared by the two spheres?

Post your answer in the comments section below.

Quiz Question

Number 255 of a series

No more math questions for a while. Here are some language questions. In fact, here is a spelling exercise. See the animal pictured above. Without resorting to any references spell the name of the animal. Post your answer in the comments section below. Don’t post your answer to Facebook, because then everybody will be able to see your answer.

While you are at it, here are some more words. I can’t show you the words because then you will know how to spell them. I will give you solid hints, and you need to spell the word.

  • Name of the state whose capital is Boston
  • Name of the state whose capital is Hartford
  • Name of the state whose capital is Providence
  • Name of the animal whose name means “river horse”
  • Name of the tall African animal with the long neck (not the okapi)

 

Bad Joke of the Week

One of a Continuing Series

This is an old one, but so is about everything these days.

Wilbur and Clyde were hunting rabbits in the cedar breaks when Wilbur pointed to the ground. “Look, Clyde. Rabbit pellets.”

Clyde had an idea. “Let’s put them in this here Mason jar. We can play a joke on your cousin Elmo. He is so stupid, he’ll fall for anything.”

So on the way back to town they stopped by to see Elmo. Clyde said, “Elmo, you’re about to graduate first grade. Are you thinking about going to college?”

Elmo shook his head. “I can’t go to college. I’m too stupid to go to college.”

Clyde told him, “Elmo, you don’t have to be stupid all your life. What you need are some smart pills.”

“Elmo said, “Yeah, that’s right. I need me some smart pills. I wonder where I can get some.”

Clyde held out the jar. “It so happens I have some right here. I’ll sell you the whole jar for $10.”

Elmo paid him the money and said, “Clyde, you are so good to me. When I get smarter I’m going to make all up to you.”

A few days passed and Clyde and Wilbur were passing by Elmo’s house again, and he came out to see them. “Clyde, I’ve been taking them smart pills.”

Clyde said, “Yeah?”

Elmo told him, “Clyde, I think you cheated me. These here ain’t no smart pills at all. These are rabbit pellets.”

Clyde was amazed. “Elmo, see? They work. You’re getting smarter already.”

Loser

Prince of Dreadful, Part 6

This series is devoted to answering that ageless question, “Are you tired of winning yet?” If you think we’ve been winning too much lately, my aim is to disabuse you of that construct. Here to assist me is a person I have employed in this effort. Right now he’s out in Washington, D.C., drawing a salary of $400,000 a year, but trust me, he’s worth every penny. Nobody repudiates “Are you tired of winning yet?” like President Donald Trump.

I am even less alone in this enterprise in so far as I pull from an army of news reporters, and even comedians. Without charging me a dime they follow the TiaS around, capturing his words for posterity and making them available on YouTube and similar outlets. Today I got up early and dialed in yesterday’s episode of A Closer Look, with Seth Meyers. In truth, this show pulls from other outlets, which is why you see them credited in the screen shots I use.

On Tuesday our Turd in a Suit cajoled us with the message he intends to cut this country’s funding to the World Health Organization. Rev.com made a transcript available, and I will paste it below. First some screen shots with snippets of monologue overlaid.

Following are excerpts from the Rev.com transcript.

We see that tunnel, and at the end of that tunnel, we see light. We’re starting to see it more than ever before. We’ve held our rate, the numbers, everything we’ve done. We’ve been very, very strong on it and very powerful on it.

Would we be able to prevent Americans from dying because we couldn’t get them ventilators, and the ventilators that they needed and they needed immediately. I instructed my team to move heaven and earth to make sure that this didn’t happen. We started to smartly ration and distribute the ventilators that we had and that others had. And I got daily updates on the supply we had, from requests coming in and people wanting to have updates. We had a great group of people working on it. I instructed my team to use the Defense Protection Act.

Donald Trump: (12:58)
And the Defense Production Act was used very powerfully, more powerfully than anybody would know. In fact, so powerfully that for the most part, we didn’t have to officially take it out. It was a hammer. It was a very powerful hammer, in order to manufacture as many ventilators as possible. Last year, America manufactured from a dead start, 30,000 ventilators. And this year the number will be over 150,000 ventilators. It could be as high as 200,000. Far more than we’ll ever need. So we’ll be able to stockpile, we’ll be able to talk to states about stockpiling. These are high quality ventilators. We had a choice. We could do inexpensive, less productive ventilators or high quality. We’ve done a high quality ventilator, so we should have anywhere from 150 to 200,000 ventilators.

People, this is the President of the United States speaking. How many different ways are there to spell “LOSER?

Loser

MARCH TO THE FINISH, PART 3

In case you missed the earlier installments, this series is dedicated to a months-long take down of presidential candidate Donald Trump. While I promise not to stoop to personal attacks, such as comparing Donald Trump to a turd in a business suit, I will allow readers to come to that conclusion on their own.

This is a sub-series of the series—all segments being takes from an episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, which played on HBO 29 February 2016, before it was considered possible the Republican Party would select a turd in a suit as their nominee. Anyhow, the show included clips of people on the street explaining what they liked about candidate Trump. The one at the top shows the woman saying she liked him because, “He tells it like it is.”

Yes! That’s why you should like Donald Trump. Donald Trump tells it like it is. Or like it is not, depending which ear you are listening out of.

Here is a reality check. Those who check up on what people say have determined statements of fact coming from a turd in a suit are false 75% of the time. Keep in mind, turds in suits were put on this Earth to give used car salesmen a good name.

Let’s do some more. In a tweet candidate Trump chided comedian Jon Stewart for changing his name.

Oops! The turd in a suit never said that.

I am thinking turds in suits take offense at stuff John Oliver says, and candidate Trump explained why he has never appeared as a guest on John Oliver’s show, despite being invited several times.

Not necessarily Donald Trump, but some turd in a suit out there said on a talk show, “John Oliver. He asked me to be on his show 4 or 5 times.

No. He did not. John Oliver checked, and nobody ever asked Donald Trump nor any other turd in a suit to be on his show.

That’s a turd in a suit telling it like it is.

Keep reading. The election is not until 3 November, and there will be a lot more about a turd in a suit coming your way.

And may Jesus have mercy on our souls.

Quiz Question

Number 250 of a series

See the following:

9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 = 100

The problem for this week is to place + and – signs between the digits to make the equation correct. If you don’t place a plus or minus then, for example, 3 2 becomes 32.

Post your solution in the comments section below. Other readers will only be able to see your answer after I moderate the comments on Sunday.