Friday Funny

One of a series

crime-nudepizzaburglar

Unfortunately, the screen shot, taken from CBS News, tells it all:

BALTIMORE  — Baltimore County police are looking for a man who they say entered a Towson restaurant through a roof vent, stripped naked and then robbed the place, CBS Baltimore reported.

It happened around 6 a.m. on November 10 at Slice of Towson.

The suspect was seen on surveillance tape entering the pizza joint, taking off his clothes, damaging a vent hood and some registers, then taking cash from the registers and running out.

It’s not every day that crime is comical, but when it is, you’re going to see it here. On Friday.

Dying to Believe

Some more of the same

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Readers, it’s not only Jesus who allows children to die from neglect. The parents of Seth Johnson believed they knew more about medicine than the doctors:

MINNEAPOLIS – A Minnesota couple face child neglect charges following the March death of their 7-year-old son, whom officials say died of pancreatitis without medical attention because his parents had “issues going to doctors,” reports CBS Minnesota.

CBS News additionally reported the Johnsons relied on prayer when young Seth’s behavior began to change for the worse. They were concerned that doctors would treat the child with medications:

In the days before Seth’s death, his parents were out of town for a wedding, leaving their son in the care of an older sibling. The night they returned, the Johnsons found their son hardly moving and said he didn’t react when they “prayed for his health.”

Jesus could not be contacted for comment.

Friday Funny

One of a series

crime-miamipolicechase15-yearold-03

It’s Friday, so something has to be funny. How about this:

Man Wins Police-Sponsored Doughnut-Eating Contest and Then Gets Arrested

Aug 09, 2014

O sweet, sweet sadness! A North Carolina man, Bradley Hardison, was arrested this week shortly after winning a police sponsored anticrime doughnut-eating contest at the Elizabeth City Police Department’s National Night Out Against Crime, Reuters reports.

Hardison, 24, consumed eight doughnuts in two minutes, winning over a group of local policemen and firefighters. A day later he was arrested — apparently, the Camden County Sheriff’s Office had been attempting to interview Hardison (for nine months!) about his connection with two break-ins.

If that is not funny, then I don’t know what is.

Your Friend The Handgun

Nothing new here, folks.

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The Second Amendment protects the right of American citizens to protect themselves with adequate fire power. It is gratifying to  see this right is never abused:

What was finally real was Edgar Welch, driving from North Carolina to Washington to rescue sexually abused children he believed were hidden in mysterious tunnels beneath a neighborhood pizza joint.

What was real was Welch — a father, former firefighter and sometime movie actor who was drawn to dark mysteries he found on the Internet — terrifying customers and workers with his ­assault-style rifle as he searched Comet Ping Pong, police said. He found no hidden children, no secret chambers, no evidence of a child sex ring run by the failed Democratic candidate for president of the United States, or by her campaign chief, or by the owner of the pizza place.

People, we can never be too careful. Where police won’t take action, concerned citizens step in. Keep your powder dry.

Dying to Believe

Some more of the same

altmed-cinnamonhoneycncercure

Every con job requires two to complete the deal. A con artist may be devious of mind and sharp of tongue, but if the mark does not perform his part, the thing falls through. Fortunately for this page that does not happen often enough to starve me of weekly material. It’s Tuesday again:

Six years ago, [James Arthur] Ray wouldn’t run out of a kitchen unless it was to speak to thousands of people—or the audience had paid four figures each for the privilege. After being featured in the book and movie of self-help sensation The Secret in 2006, Ray was propelled onto the national stage. At the time, he was touted as the latest in a long line of prominent self-help gurus who claimed to hold the keys to living a happy and successful life. Two appearances on Oprah followed, as well as his 2008 New York Times best seller Harmonic Wealth: The Secret of Attracting the Life You Want. The price of joining Ray’s World Wealth Society—a program of one-to-one mentoring—peaked at $90,000, and he bought a luxurious home in Beverly Hills. A glowing profile in Fortune magazine dubbed him heir to Tony Robbins’s motivational-speaker throne.

Then, in October of 2009, three of Ray’s followers died.

The good news, depending on how you define “good,” is that in 2013 the resilient Mr. Ray was released from prison, having served his two-year sentence for negligent homicide. On that fatal day in 2009 two people died immediately from heat stroke and another died nine days later of “organ failure.” The victims were among approximately 75 people who offered themselves to Ray’s cure, submitting to temperatures of 200 F inside a tent heated by rocks.

Back in business (as of March last year), Ray continues peddling “harmonic wealth.” It’s “the idea of energy fields attracting similar energy fields.” He will be successful so long as his dupes perform as scripted. He should not require much help.

Trump News

Disclaimer: I subscribe to an email fake news service. Trump News is the name of the email sender. These posts are pulled from the emails.

For your reading pleasure

gun-13yearoldkillsintruder

Beginning of a new series. I subscribe to an email newsletter from EnVolve.com. The sender is listed as Trump News, but it is not likely the President-elect is in any way involved with Trump News. Where to get started? How about with a recent story from En-Volve:

Career Felon Killed In Shootout By 13-Year-Old During Home Invasion

A check reveals the WCBD news item cited had much the same story.

That is certainly good news, and it flies in the face of my series of postings titled Your Friend The Handgun, aimed at demonstrating the folly of actually invoking your Second Amendment rights and loading yourself up with firearms. What is so heartening to learn is that the use of a (presumed) handgun allowed a 13-year-old child to defend his home and himself from two dangerous criminals. A side effect is that criminal proceedings will not be necessary against one of the crooks. R.I.P.

But wait. What’s fake about this news? Well… For starters, look at the picture of the young boy who pulled the trigger. How righteous. How heroic. How white.

If you read available news stories related to this incident you will observe that the identity of the young boy is being withheld at his (and most likely his parents’) request. So, where did En-Volve get the photo of the shooter? Your guess is as good as mine, and my guess is this is a stock photo, and the boy is a model posing for the photo with a semi-automatic pistol and a very determined look. I am familiar with the concept because I shoot stock photos for profit, and I have used such models.

So, the photo is a stock photo, and the boy is a model. Most likely that is a prop gun provided by the photographer. That does not answer an interesting  question. Why is the boy white? This is North Charleston, SC. Yes, that North Charleston, SC, where apparently a bunch of non-white people live. Such as the two crooks in the picture. I’m going to leave it to readers to figure out why a white child is supposed to have killed a black thug. There is an additional item worth discussing.

The story from En-Volve was posted by A. Michael Smith on 30 December 2016. As a reference, Smith’s story links to a story in USArmy4Life.com. That story says:

6 TIME FELON KILLED IN SHOOTOUT BY 13 YEAR OLD DURING HOME INVASION

Then it says pretty much what the En-Volve story says. Except for the date. The date of the En-Volve story is 30 December of 2016. The date of the US Army 4 Life story is 25 December 2016. So when did the actual events take place? To find out I relied on my trusty Way-Back machine, Google:

– On Tuesday afternoon a 13-year-old boy who was home alone used his mother’s gun to fend off two potential burglars, killing one of them.

According to authorities, the boy, who is not being identified because of his age, became suspicious of a grey Chevy Sonic that had pulled up near his house.

The Charleston County Sheriff’s Office reported that the boy later heard someone trying to break into his family’s home. He then got his mother’s gun and went to the back door of the house.

The boy told police officials that he fired the gun at a person outside and the person fired back.

The two burglars, Lamar Anthwan Brown, 31, of Summerville, and Ira Bennett, 28, of North Charleston, then fled the scene.

Bennett reportedly drove an injured Brown to Trident Medical Center, and then took off—Brown later died of his gunshot wounds.

US Army 4 Life used the Fox 29 news item pretty much as written, obviously without a lot of re-investigation. But note that the Fox 29 story is from 11 November 2015, over a year prior to both the US Army 4 Life story and the En-Volve story. But the Fox 29 story did not have a photo of the child, just the two black crooks. In none of the news accounts was the child or his family identified.

And now I get to the part where I speculate, completely fact-free. Why did US Army 4 Life need to go back over a year to find an appropriate story? If there is any substance to “a million self defensive uses of firearms a year,” why wasn’t there a story available from the previous week. Or the previous month? Could it be that no such story existed—that the last time a home owner effectively used a firearm to protect his home was over a year prior? I am not going to stretch incredulity that far, and I am going to grant that real self protection events occur more than once a year.

I also like to wonder how many of those self-protection episodes involve something like popcorn.

Your Friend The Handgun

Nothing new here, folks.

gun-benfranklindisarmpeople

Bad news from Minnesota, readers. A man bent on a terrorist mission has rammed his car into a crowd at a St. Cloud shopping mall, injuring some and shooting nine dead.

No, wait! I have that a bit wrong. He was not armed with a gun, but instead he carried an equally deadly knife. The carnage was no less shocking:

Nine people were hurt in a knife rampage at a Minnesota mall during which the attacker made references to Allah, authorities said.

The suspect was shot dead by an off-duty police officer at the Crossroads Mall in St. Cloud, which began around 8 p.m. (9 p.m. ET) on Saturday.

I guess that settles the dispute over knives being just as deadly as handguns. I have a great idea. Let’s issue guns to our military and to police and require terrorists carry only knives.

Your Friend The Handgun

Nothing new here, folks.

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From advertisement for Urban Carry

Safety for you and your family comes in many ways. One way is through the Second Amendment to the Constitution, which ensures every citizen the right to keep his sidearm with him at all times. You never know when you will need protection from obnoxious people driving without consideration for others:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) — A 3-year-old boy being taken on a shopping trip by his grandmother was killed in a road rage shooting when a driver opened fire on the grandmother’s car because he thought she “wasn’t moving fast enough at a stop sign,” police said.

The boy and his grandmother were at the stop sign in southwest Little Rock on Saturday evening when a driver apparently angry about the delay stepped out of his car and opened fire, police said. The boy was struck by gunfire at least once, they said.

The grandmother, who wasn’t struck, drove away and called police from a shopping center.

Police arrived at the shopping center and found the boy in the car outside a JCPenney department store. The boy was taken to a hospital, where he died shortly after, becoming the second young child shot dead in a road rage incident in the city in the last few weeks.

Ya’ll be safe out there, and remember. Don’t leave home without it.

Friday Funny

One of a series

American currency and coins with rolling dice on a green gaming table

Something is always funny on Friday. Here is this:

Albert Bailey must order a lot of takeout because that is exactly what he did when he tried robbing the People’s United Bank in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Ten minutes before the heist, he called the bank to order that a sack of cash be left on the floor so he would not have to cause a scene by coming in waving a gun around. (Plus, could you imagine having to find a parking spot?)

Ten minutes later, Bailey’s 16-year-old accomplice walked in while the bank teller was still on the phone with the police. The kid got about $900 from the teller, and then ran to the getaway car with Bailey awaiting at the wheel. Unfortunately, tipped off, the police were already there and the crooks were arrested in the parking lot. They were thinking of getting delivery but that would mean leaving a tip.

More on  the story

There are so many of these stories, I would never run out. Sometimes the synonym for funny is “just plain stupid.”

Your Friend The Handgun

Nothing new here, folks.

gun-opencarrydallaspoliceshooting

The Second Amendment guarantees all citizens the right to keep and bear arms. People, properly applied, this basic principle will keep us all much safer. So, how is that working out?

A man in a Detroit suburb is in jail after being accused of pulling a gun on six children  he suspected had destroyed his yard sign supporting Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.

The News-Herald reported that Michael Robert Kubek is facing seven felony counts charging him with pointing a gun at the children he believed had destroyed his Donald Trump yard sign.

The over cautious Mr. Kubek knows the importance of keeping his weapon handy. Hopefully his right own a firearm will be restored once he is free from jail.