I don’t make this stuff up.

Number 3 of the series

I should have titled this series something like, “I don’t have to make this stuff up,” because the case is I do not have to make this stuff up. Other people write it for me. For example, there is a response to a comment I posted to Facebook. See the meme above. I posted this as eye candy for a short item about reasons people shot their guns in December 2018. The meme has only peripheral relationship to the story, which is about a news item from December: “Irate customer pulls gun on Little Italy restaurant owner over sales tax, police say.”

Anyhow, the item on Facebook got picked up and was being batted about, which caught my attention, and I chimed in, eventually eliciting the following response from Timothy:

Timothy It’s a cost/benefit question. It’s also not a significant number considering there are 350M people in the country. I mean 800 people die from falling out of bed every year.

Yes, I redacted Timothy’s name in order to not make Timothy the focus, but you can read the complete Facebook posting for yourself.

Timothy’s comment speaks for itself. The deaths (also injuries, associated legal action, etc.) are rolled up in a cost/benefit analysis. Stop being appalled for a moment and focus forward to 800 people each year who die falling out of bed. Without checking the statistics, take that number and move forward. People falling out of bed is ranked with people getting shot or even people caught up in legal action because somebody thought it was a good idea to keep and bear a handgun (my series concentrates on handguns to the exclusion of others).

People, I do not have to make this stuff up.

Bad Joke of the Week

One of a Continuing Series

From a page of Milton Berle quotes:

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

You’re aging when your actions creak louder than your words.

I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn’t say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

Folk who don’t know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

This is your president speaking.

Number 219 in a series

And now a few words from the President of the United States.


Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump


@FoxNews is at it again. So different from what they used to be during the 2016 Primaries, & before – Proud Warriors! Now new Fox Polls, which have always been terrible to me (they had me losing BIG to Crooked Hillary), have me down to Sleepy Joe. Even considering…..
8:58 AM · Jul 26, 2019


Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump


….the fact that I have gone through a three year vicious Witch Hunt, perpetrated by the Lamestream Media in Collusion with Crooked and the Democrat Party, there can be NO WAY, with the greatest Economy in U.S. history, that I can be losing to the Sleepy One. KEEP AMERICA GREAT!
8:58 AM · Jul 26, 2019

Can’t somebody give the poor guy a break! No, wait. No need for that. President Donald Trump continues to hang on to a cadre of true followers. A recent quote from one, posted to Facebook (full name redacted):

Frank John Blanton and we still voted him in. At least we already knew his character. Clinton, on the other hand had to be exposed.
Frank John Blanton and imagine how much worse it would have been if Hillary had won.

This guy knew what Donald Trump was all about before he voted for him. That’s impressive to hear. These blood and soil people will never let you down.

Your Friend The Handgun

Number 174, unfortunately

This is a continuation of my posts from “A few of the reasons people fired their guns in December, 2018.” Here is number 4:

I went to pick up my takeout order from a restaurant, and they tried to charge me sales tax. I told them takeout orders aren’t taxed (apparently I was wrong?) but they wouldn’t listen so I pulled out my gun and threatened the manager. (OH, 12/14/18)

Irate customer pulls gun on Little Italy restaurant owner over sales tax, police say

CLEVELAND, Ohio – An irate customer of a popular Little Italy restaurant pulled a gun on the restaurant owner’s because he had to pay taxes on a takeout order, police reports say.

Remember, “an armed society is a polite society!”

Quiz Question

Number 214 of a series

Here is a calendar. It could be any calendar. I drew a 3×3 box around 9 dates. What is the sum of the numbers in the box? You are allowed five seconds.

Post your answer in the comments section below.

Update and Solution

Mike has the right approach. To solve this in under five seconds you need to know about the life of Carl Friedrich Gauss. As a young school boy he was assigned the problem of adding up a column of large numbers. He noticed the professor wrote the column of numbers as an arithmetic series. He quickly realized the sum was the product of the average and the number of numbers. The average would be the middle number (odd number of numbers) or half way between the two middle numbers. He turned in his answer so quickly the professor was astounded.

Days in a month are an arithmetic sequence. All this problem does is to chop the sequence into three , equally spaced, sequences of the same length. The sum will be 9 times the middle number.

180 (in under 5 seconds)

People Unclear

This is number 80 of a series

I should do more of these. There are a bunch of people who seem unable to grasp the clear picture. One such might be first daughter-in-law Lara Trump:

Lara Trump accuses critics of “Send her back” of pushing a “biased, racially-charged narrative”

Lara Trump claims that Anderson Cooper is pushing a “biased, racially-charged narrative” for his recent criticisms


Lara Trump, the wife of President Donald Trump’s son Eric, has accused CNN anchor Anderson Cooper of pushing a “biased, racially-charged narrative” after he criticized her recent defense of the Trump administration over the “send her back” scandal.

“Anyone insinuating that there was some premeditated plan to orchestrate the “send her back” chant is obviously desperate to continue pushing a biased, racially-charged narrative. #FakeNews,” Trump posted to her Twitter account on Saturday. She included a link to the Washington Examiner, a right-leaning newspaper which included a quote from Cooper blasting Trump for supposedly “lying” about her role in whipping up a crowd to chant “send her back” about Rep. Ilhan Omar, D-Minn.

Call me a bleeding heart liberal if you want, but I think it is refreshing to finally have a president who cares so much about women.

His respect for women is shown to be boundless.

Self-obsessed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by scooping up conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very wrong. Little did I realize that all the while Donald Trump has been playing an enormous  practical joke on all of us:

A final note to Lara Trump. Next time around you should be more selective about the kind of family you decide to hook up with and spend less time flailing away at people who call out your father-in-law for what he is.

Bad Joke of the Week

One of a Continuing Series

My theatrical career is a story of its own. When I first started out, I wanted to play the bad guys. Bogart, Raft, really bad hombres. The audiences laughed at me.

I tried romance. Suave, debonaire heart throbs. I gave it my all. The audiences laughed.

Westerns, historical, musicals. They still laughed.

Then I tried comedy, and I finally found my niche. They don’t laugh at me anymore.






The National Divide

Number 14 of a possibly infinite series

Are there any who still doubt we have two Americas? The ones who stood before the President of the United States in Greenville, North Carolina, on Thursday shouting, “Send her back!” belong to a part of this nation that does not intersect with mine.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Chants of “send her back” by supporters of President Donald Trump, attacking Somali-born U.S. Representative Ilhan Omar, triggered a wave of concern among congressional Republicans on Thursday, while Omar said Trump was “spewing fascist ideology.”

Finally. Finally! Five years after “They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people,” Republicans are starting to burn. Years too late and fathoms too shallow. The Republican Party snagged its future on a low-level criminal and blinding white psychopath, and they hung on five years too long. Redemption is light years past their grasp, and they are beginning to reap what they sowed. My advice to conservative friends who bought into this: I will thank you to stay on your side of the line and get used to the stench. This stuff will never wash off.

Your Friend The Handgun

Number 173, unfortunately

I’m continuing to post headlines from “A few of the reasons people fired their guns in December, 2018.” Here is number 3:

A librarian banned me from the library, so I shot her dead. (CA, 12/11/18)

Sacramento librarian fatally shot by man banned from library, police say

As 56-year-old Ronald Seay sits inside a Sacramento jail charged in the shooting death of a librarian, he’s also facing charges for crimes at libraries in the Midwest.

Abusing Science

Number 32 of a series

The propaganda campaign against naturalistic explanations continues relentlessly from the Discovery Institute. David Klinghoffer has been getting a lot of air time on their Evolution News Web site. Here is something recent:

On the Origin of Life, Science Uprising Helps Break a Poisonous Spell

If you follow the news, you’ve seen countless headlines like this: “Amazing Discovery May Hold Key to Origins of Life,” “Found: The Origin of Life,” “Scientists May Have Found the Chemical Compound That Started Life,” and on and on. Michael Egnor wrote about just such a story here yesterday.

The origin of life is the deepest mystery imaginable and it sounds like scientists have it all figured out. Or just about. The new episode of Science Uprising, “Origin of Life: Intelligence Required,” firebombs that persistent and influential myth, advanced by scientists themselves and their media helpers. It does so in just seven devastating minutes.

“We See the Human Soul”

It’s crucial to materialism to believe that blind, natural processes alone could have blundered about and generated life from dumb chemical predecessors. Whether it happened on our planet or another, all the wonders of the first living cell must have come into existence with no need for intelligent design. Any hint to the contrary threatens to topple a whole of way of thinking about human beings and about all life, that denies any reality beyond the material. “We are not materialists,” says the masked narrator of Episode 5, “We see the human soul”:

There follows a video.
Getting past Klinghoffer’s prologue, we get around to discussing the human soul. Some discussion is in order.

Science is a human endeavor to obtain knowledge by studying things. Science is generally considered to concern itself with material things, but that is a shortsighted assumption. There are non-material things that need studying, and the scientific approach applies to them. Things that are not material would include politics and economics. Things that are not material and not subject to scientific study would include the concepts of beauty, love, mathematics, and grammar. Although the human concepts of beauty and love can be studied through the science of psychology, it is the manifestation that is studied, not the thing. Mathematics and grammar are not subject to scientific study, first because mathematics is a human creation, today defined by a handful of axioms and possessing no additional  information content, and grammar is a human creation that is subject to the whims of people, floating with passing time, and not something ripe for scientific study.

The soul is a human contrivance and is not a physical thing. To argue that the souls exists as an entity that can be studied scientifically is fruitless, since the soul means whatever an individual decides it is. There is nothing to study.

But getting to Klinghoffer’s pitch: any evidence that life did not come about by natural processes would be devastating to our way of thinking about the natural world. The problem is, Discovery Institute propaganda advocating supernatural origins is just that. Words and no evidence.
When the Intelligent Design people decide to cut loose from these specious arguments, we can begin to take them seriously. Not before.

I don’t make this stuff up.

Number 2 of the series

From the desk of the President of the United States:

So interesting to see “Progressive” Democrat Congresswomen, who originally came from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe, the worst, most corrupt and inept anywhere in the world (if they even have a functioning government at all), now loudly……

….and viciously telling the people of the United States, the greatest and most powerful Nation on earth, how our government is to be run. Why don’t they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came. Then come back and show us how….

….it is done. These places need your help badly, you can’t leave fast enough. I’m sure that Nancy Pelosi would be very happy to quickly work out free travel arrangements!

I have a word for those who voted for Donald Trump. I spoke to you prior to the election, and I have spoken to you since. Prior to the election you told me why you supported Donald Trump, and since the election you have told my why you still support him. From that I can only assume you either approve of the things he is doing and saying, or else you do not approve, but you are willing to excuse his words and actions as a price you are willing to pay to obtain one or more of the things he has promised.

If you approve what Donald Trump is doing and saying, then this is something that reflects on the kind of person you are. It you are willing to excuse his actions, then it is an indication of your threshold for selling out your reputation. Neither is anything you should want attached to your name in future accounts of this era.

Bad Joke of the Week

One of a series

From a page or Rodney Dangerfield one-liners

“People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils – Texaco, Mobil, Exxon…”

“Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.”

“Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.”

“I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio… I don’t understand a word they’re saying.”

“I bought a perfect second car… a tow truck.”

“I have three kids, one of each.”

“I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.”

“Boy what a hotel that was. Why, they stole my towel!”

“I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said, ‘On your mark… ‘”

“What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.”

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it.”

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local restaurant, I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.”

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window, I hurt somebody’s fingers.”

“I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.”

“I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.”

“In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.”

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps… from moving cars.”

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once, a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional; the knife had butter on it.”

This is your president speaking.

Number 218 in a series

And now a few words from the President of the United States.

…The Fake News is not as important, or as powerful, as Social Media. They have lost tremendous credibility since that day in November, 2016, that I came down the escalator with the person who was to become your future First Lady. When I ultimately leave office in six…

…years, or maybe 10 or 14 (just kidding), they will quickly go out of business for lack of credibility, or approval, from the public. That’s why they will all be Endorsing me at some point, one way or the other. Could you imagine having Sleepy Joe Biden, or Alfred E. Newman…

…or a very nervous and skinny version of Pocahontas (1/1024th), as your President, rather than what you have now, so great looking and smart, a true Stable Genius! Sorry to say that even Social Media would be driven out of business along with, and finally, the Fake News Media!

I don’t want to make a big deal of this, but let it sink in for a moment. Those are the writings of the President of the United States. Do I need to say anything more?

Your Friend The Handgun

Number 172, unfortunately

As mentioned previously, I am posting headlines from “A few of the reasons people fired their guns in December, 2018.” Here is number 2:

I bring a gun everywhere for safety. When I dropped my purse at Walmart, though, my Derringer went off and shot me in the foot. (MO, 12/4/18)

Woman accidentally shoots herself in the foot in Walmart in Mount Vernon, Mo.

MOUNT VERNON, Mo. — In Mount Vernon an accident at a Walmart sent a woman to the hospital. However police tell us, it could have ended in death.

On December 4, police responded to a shooting inside of the Walmart.
The victim shot herself in the foot after dropping her purse, which had her loaded 38 caliber Derringer gun inside of it.

People continually remind me on Facebook that it’s better to pack heat:

Linda Spencer John Blanton “ an armed society is a polite society!”

Abusing Science

Number 31 of a series


Science receives no more diligent assault than from creationists. The modern creationism has been labeled Intelligent Design, solidly underwritten by the Discovery Institute. The DI Center for Science and Culture propagandizes relentlessly for a supernatural explanation for the universe and the existence of life on this planet. Their Web site, Evolution News, posts a steady stream of argument against natural causes. Here is a recent sample:

“We Hold These Truths”: On Design of the Cosmos, Science Uprising Updates Thomas Jefferson

David Klinghoffer does not seem to have any academic credentials related to science, but Wikipedia notes this:

David Klinghoffer is an Orthodox Jewish author and essayist, and a proponent of intelligent design. He attended Brown University in the eighties. He is a Senior Fellow of the Discovery Institute, the organization that is the driving force behind the intelligent design movement. He was a frequent contributor to National Review, and a former columnist for the Jewish weekly newspaper The Forward, to which he still contributes occasional essays.

He has this to say in the referenced posting:

On Independence Day, Evolution News traditionally republishes a wonderful post by Stephen Meyer. Dr. Meyer, the author of Signature in the Cell and Darwin’s Doubt, explains how the philosophy of human rights enshrined in the Declaration of Independence is grounded in recognizing intelligent design. Regarding the “sources of our rights as citizens”:

Here is a portion of the Stephen C. Meyer quote:

There is one source that is more basic than any other, yet that receives less than the attention it deserves. I refer to the idea that there is an intelligent creator who can be known by reason from nature, a key tenet underlying the Declaration of Independence — as well as, curiously, the modern theory of intelligent design.

The birth of our republic was announced in the Declaration through the pen of Thomas Jefferson. He and the other Founders based their vision on a belief in an intrinsic human dignity, bestowed by virtue of our having been made according to the design and in the image of a purposeful creator.

As Jefferson wrote in the Declaration, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights.” If we had received our rights only from the government, then the government could justifiably take them away.

And that is so very odd. The idea is, perhaps, to argue science for Intelligent Design, but what Klinghoffer, through Meyer, falls back on is a political statement by the author of the Declaration of Independence. Actually, science is not supposed to work that way. Science works by examining the thing you want to study, in this case the origin of the universe and life on this planet, and base conclusions on what is learned. I may be an amateur scientist, but the statements of a historical figure have no bearing on this field of scientific study.

Klinghoffer continues:

Truths like the ones Jefferson articulated are truths forever, but we need to update the idiom to suit the times. Dr. Meyer’s work, including his upcoming book, The Return of the God Hypothesis, powerfully details the current scientific evidence that supports what Jefferson called the “conviction of design” in biology and cosmology. A serious volume like that is written to nail down the science conclusively. But a related purpose is served, using a different, punchier idiom, by the new Science Uprising series, and in particular Episode 4. At just 8 minutes in length, it’s concise and provocative:

There follows a link to this video.

Abuse of science does not require misstatement of scientific principles. In many cases it boils down to a drumbeat of propagandizing.