The Great Awakening

This is interesting. I find that as old as I am, I am still able to learn new facts. For example:

EPA chief: Carbon dioxide not ‘primary contributor’ to climate change

Updated 8:28 PM ET, Thu March 9, 2017

(CNN) – The head of the Environmental Protection Agency administrator said Thursday he does not believe that carbon dioxide is a primary contributor to global warming — a stance at odds with leading climate scientists.

Scott Pruitt made the comment to CNBC’s Joe Kernen when he was asked if he believes that carbon dioxide “is the primary control knob for climate.”
“I think that measuring with precision human activity on the climate is something very challenging to do and there’s tremendous disagreement about the degree of impact, so no, I would not agree that it’s a primary contributor to the global warming that we see,” he said on CNBC’s “Squawk Box.”

I’m here to tell you now, readers, this information put the lie to one of my closely held beliefs. This information was so startling, it set me pause and to wonder if there were other gaps in my knowledge—things seemingly so obvious that I never gave them a second glance. Right then and there I begin a personal search for the truth. The result was astounding. As a result of my renewed quest for ultimate knowledge I was able to discard many long-held misconceptions. Here are a few:

  • Ice is really not frozen water. When you chill water it gives the appearance of freezing solid, but this is merely an illusion. I mean, if chilling water makes it hard, like ice, than any jakeleg from the sticks would be able to walk on  water, merely by freezing it. We all know only Jesus can walk on water.
  • When the sun goes below the horizon at the end of the day, it doesn’t just continue on and illuminate the other side of the Earth. Hello? We all know the Earth is flat. What really happens when “the sun goes down” is a cadre of Jesus worker bees gets busy stoking the sun with coal for a new day. Then at the proper time they hoist the sun above the horizon in the east, and the world rejoices at the power of Jesus’ love.
  • Lee Harvey Oswald did not shoot President Kennedy. This is a fake news item planted by the CIA to cover for the real  murderer—Marilyn Monroe. I was amazed to discover that Marilyn Monroe die not die of an overdose of sleeping pills in 1962, but she actually went into  hiding, abetted by the CIA, who trained her as a skilled sniper. Marilyn was  eager to go along with this plot, because she was pissed at JFK for forcing her to  have an alien’s baby.
  • The Challenger shuttle crew did not perish in the launch disaster of January 1986. NASA was unable to perfect the shuttles sufficiently to carry a live crew, so they launched them without anybody aboard. When the Challenger disintegrated NASA had to cover up the fact the crew was not aboard, so they have all seven astronauts confined in a secret prison in the Mojave Desert. Some word of this leaked out several years ago, and a Hollywood producer made a movie, Capricorn One, in a desperate attempt to disclose the conspiracy. This was nine years prior to the launch disaster.
  • Famed billionaire Donald Trump has convinced millions of  American voters that he has real leadership abilities, and he has been installed as the latest President of the United States.

Readers, the truth is out there.

And may Jesus have mercy on our souls.


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