Things Not To Say During Sex
- I have to poop.
- Smile for the Camera!
- Get off me, I’ll do it myself.
- This is your first time… right?
- You’re almost as good as my ex.
- When is this supposed to feel good?
- I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs.
- I was so horny tonight, I would have taken a sheep home.
- Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.
- Hey! My friends are right. You are good.
- On second thought, let’s turn the lights off.
- I’m sobering up and you’re getting ugly.
- But everybody looks funny naked.
- Do I have to pay for this?
- What’s your name again?
- Hold on, let me change the channel.
- It’s nice being in bed with someone I don’t have to inflate.
- Uhhh… I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.