The Golden Shower

Something interesting

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Donald Trump, shortly to become the 45th President of the United States, has yet to establish his legacy. He has promised Americans he will create jobs as we could never have imagined, he will build a wall to keep the murders and rapists out, he will make America great again. He may do any and all of that, but no matter what he does, no matter what he thinks, his legacy will forever be marked by the vision of a basic bodily function.

A salacious story, first broken by BuzzFeed News, tells of a supposedly embarrassing episode in  a Moscow hotel room, an episode the Russians have captured on video and could use to blackmail the future president. If only it were true. A term used regarding whatever really went on in Moscow is Golden Showers, from which the title of this series is derived. Like it or not, Mr. Trump’s administration may forever be remembered as the Pee Pee Presidency.

Yesterday’s opening skit on Saturday Night Live brought the fun to life, and I captured some of it as presented on YouTube. In a recreation of Mr. Trump’s first press conference since his election, the comedy team brought to life amusing possibilities. The President-elect takes questions from reporters, and a reporter begins by bringing up the unfortunate death last year of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and Trump’s plan for a replacement. Then she gets to the meat of her question, “Did you guys like all pee or you just like watch them pee?”

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And the fun is on. Things get funny. Things get even funnier. But eventually the subject of pee pee spouts up again. It will not go away.

Mr. Trump (Alec Baldwin) talks about creating new jobs. It will be the biggest, strongest stream you’ve ever seen.

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We will be showered with jobs. He is a major wiz at creating jobs.

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It is a golden opportunity.

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A reporter reminds the President-elect that government intelligence has firm proof the Russian government was involved in attempting to influence last year’s election. Does the President-elect agree with those findings, and will he say so now?

He mumbles. The reporter asks Trump to speak louder. He mumbles. She persists. He says quite plainly it was the Russians.

Trump takes a final question, this time from a reporter named Wolf Blitzer. Blitzer looks suspiciously like a bare-chested Vladimir Putin. He asks Trump if he is really sure it was the Russians. And he holds up a VHS tape clearly marked, “PEE PEE TAPE.”

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Oops! Mr. Trump concedes the dirty work could have been done by the Chinese. Then he suggests the possibility it was the Canadians. He finally settles on Meryl Streep.

And it is so funny.

Please enjoy the remainder of Donald Trumps presidency. I know that I will, and I have this suggestion. Get a VHS taps, got be plenty of those lying around. Make a label that says “PEE PEE,” and slap it on. Whenever you run into difficulty with some firebrand Trump supporter, just listen politely, and smile. Then pull out your copy of the tape.

And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

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6 thoughts on “The Golden Shower

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