After Johnny died, he approached St. Peter at the Pearly gates.
St. Peter asked, “What in your opinion was your most noble deed?”
Johnny thought and replied, “Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing people outside a bar, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring.”
St. Peter was impressed. “That was a brave and noble act, Johnny. And when did all this happen?”
Johnny replied, “About five minutes ago.”