Don’t Bump The Trump

One of a series


A warning for those who chance to meet a wild Trump coming home late at night, past a graveyard, all alone in a storm: Don’t bump the Trump. [With apologies to Shel Silverstein.]

Previously I aimed this series of posts at the humor of a narcissistic businessman vying for a job that requires more than an ounce of real character. Now I’m leaving the high road and will be calling things as they are. In the meantime, I have this to say. Thank you, Mr. Trump. It’s the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for me.Thank you very, very, very much!

Self-obsessed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by scooping up conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very wrong. Little did I realize that all the while Donald Trump has been playing an enormous  practical joke on all of us:

New York (CNN) — Donald Trump bragged about trying to have sex with a married woman and being able to grope women in previously unaired footage from 2005 that surfaced on Friday.
Trump is heard discussing women in vulgar terms during off-camera banter during the taping of a segment for “Access Hollywood,” footage which was obtained by The Washington Post.
During the lewd conversation captured by a microphone Trump was wearing on his lapel, Trump recounts how he tried to “fuck” an unidentified married woman before bragging that he is “automatically attracted to beautiful (women)” and just starts “kissing them.” The conversation came just months after Trump married his third and current wife, Melania.
He also said: “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything … Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”

Full disclosure, readers. Earlier in my life I spent the better part of two years aboard aircraft carriers. It was an aviation ordnance crew, and we were a rough and ready bunch of sailors from all levels of society, mostly not the upper crust. I’m not going to say we used coarse language, but there were times every other word began with “mother.” The language that presidential candidate Trump used would have made none us blush.

But wait! This is not an ammo loading crew. This is a presidential campaign. Somebody needs to pull The Donald aside and remind him that everything a person says is bound to come up sometime in the future, especially in the context of a political campaign.

Of course, left-wing, bleeding heart liberal that I am. I’m doing a small dance right now and annoying the wife, whose jaw has yet to recover from the floor. Response from political operatives is as expected. The poor wife and I are both watching this unfold on CNN just now, wondering what Trump campaign advisor and public face, Kellyanne Conway, would have to say. We watched. We heard. It was priceless. She said in effect that what we are listening to on that audio clip is not the same Donald now running for president. He has grown up since. He is more mature. All in the past ten years. Yes, readers, having gone through that difficult phase in life, I can assure you that between the ages of 60 and 70 an ex-sailor grows up. In the mean time, my poor wife has recovered her lower jaw and is trying to pry me off the floor, where I am rolling about and laughing my ass off. If I am allowed to use that word.

Yeah, it’s game on. We are going to have more fun between now and November. We can be assured Donald Trump will never fail to entertain us.

Continue reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.


2 thoughts on “Don’t Bump The Trump

  1. Pingback: Don’t Bump The Trump | Skeptical Analysis

  2. Pingback: Snowflake-in-Chief | Skeptical Analysis

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