Don’t Bump The Trump

One of a series


A warning for those who chance to meet a wild Trump coming home late at night, past a graveyard, all alone in a storm: Don’t bump the Trump. [With apologies to Shel Silverstein.]

I’ve been running this love fest with presidential candidate Donald Trump for over five weeks with no idea where it’s heading. Now I find I will be able to post a new item every day from now until November without repeating myself. Thank you, Mr. Trump. It’s the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for me.Thank you very, very, very much!

Sorry I missed yesterday. I was busy.

Self-obsessed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by scooping up conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very wrong. I completely failed to take into consideration Donald Trump’s record of impeccable business ethics:

As befitting a man who laughs in the face of impropriety, Donald Trump does not particularly care about the optics of using his campaign to boost his own businesses. In 2000, he told an interviewer that he “could be the first presidential candidate to run and make money on it,” a prediction he would fulfill 15 years later as he promoted, at various times, steaks, bottled water, golf courses, and, famously, in a media bait-and-switch, his new hotel in Washington, D.C. (Those rumors that his presidential run was a promotional stunt for the D.C. hotel came full circle that day.) But there’s boosting one’s businesses through free publicity (and Trump has reportedly received more than $3 billion in free media since he launched his campaign), and then there’s the results of a new Politico report, which found that Trump has used his campaign’s money to pay his own businesses $8.2 million.

According to the report, the money has gone toward paying his office’s rent in his own building ($1.3 million), paying for food and facilities at his own properties ($544,000), and even his own corporate staffers ($333,000) who perform campaign-related functions, such as his personal head of security. According to Politico, F.E.C. filings also revealed a $1,300 expense for his bottled-water company, Trump Ice; $432,000 for catering, facilities, and putting up the campaign at his resort Mar-a-Lago; and $6 million for the use of Trump’s plane, the largest expense in their filings.

It is hoped that when Mr. Trump becomes Commander in Chief he will find it in himself to use taxpayer money to pay off claims filed against his phony university.

Yeah, it’s game on. We are going to have more fun between now and November. We can be assured Donald Trump will never fail to entertain us.

Continue reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.


One thought on “Don’t Bump The Trump

  1. Pingback: Don’t Bump The Trump | Skeptical Analysis

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