Don’t Bump The Trump

One of a series

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A warning for those who chance to meet a wild Trump coming home late at night, past a graveyard, all alone in a storm: Don’t bump the Trump. [With apologies to Shel Silverstein.]

I’ve been running this love fest with presidential candidate Donald Trump going on five weeks with no idea where it’s heading. Now I find I will be able to post a new item every day from now until November without repeating myself. Thank you, Mr. Trump. It’s the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for me.Thank you very, very, very much!

Self-obsessed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by scooping up conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very wrong. I completely failed to take into consideration that Donald Trump has always been forthright and honest with the voters:

After years of suggesting President Obama was born in Kenya, Donald Trump said early Friday that he believed the president was indeed born in the United States.

“President Barack Obama was born in the United States. Period,” said Trump, who spent much of his time at the beginning of the event praising his “nice hotel.”

“Now we want to get back to making America great again,” he added.

All right! People, this is welcome news. We can now cast off all doubts about our President having been born in Kenya and ineligible to hold the office. We have Donald Trump to thank for making our country great again and also for promoting what a nice hotel he has opened. And what a path to greatness it has been for Mr. Trump.

Donald Trump used the occasion of revealing the truth about President Obama’s birth to introduce the public to his hotel. What a guy? Here is someone who recognizes the waste of a missed opportunity. And all reporters could think to ask was something silly like, “Why did it take so long?:

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Dude, it took so long because the hotel wasn’t ready until now. Some people don’t understand business. Also, it took a while for Donald Trump and others to peel the truth out of all the confusion.

Trump: "I want him to show his birth certificate."

As far back as 2011 Trump as been saying, “I want him to show his birth certificate.” Some things get overly drawn out. Even in 2012, after the President finally produced his birth certificate (about the time American forces killed Osama bin Laden), Donald Trump continued to hold out. He is, after all, a cautious person. He told us “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama’s birth certificate is a fraud” (August 6, 2012). This “extremely credible source,” as extremely credible as it is, has never been revealed. Donald Trump is a very cautious person.

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Pesky reporters continued to press Donald Trump, as late as 2014, to act irrationally and accept the evidence as presented. But Donald Trump is too business wise for such rash action. When a reporter insisted, “But he is a citizen. He produced that long form birth certificate,” Donald Trump replied, “Well, a lot of people don’t agree with you. And a lot of people feel it wasn’t a proper certificate.” Right on, Donald Trump!

Reporter: "But he is a citizen. He produced that long form birth certificate." Trump: "Well, a lot of people don't agree with you. And a lot of people feel it wasn't a proper certificate."

Donald Trump held fast for the truth to ultimately emerge. In January of this year he was again badgered by a reporter. “Is he a natural born citizen?” Trump wisely responded, “Who knows?”

Reporter: "Is he a natural born citizen?" Trump: "Who knows?"

Some have reacted unkindly to Donald Trump’s quest for the ultimate truth. One of those would be former Secretary of State Colin Powell. He was rude enough back in August to say, “Yup, the whole birther movement was racist.” See what Donald Trump has been up against all these years?

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But finally Trump was personally able to clear the matter. up. How can we ever manage to repay him?

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We can repay him by doing what we were always meant to do. We can pay homage to his new hotel. He has told us, “I am now going to the brand new Trump International, Hotel D.C. for a major statement. Very managerial.

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And what a show it was to be. Donald Trump announced, “You watch my statement, I have to, we have to, keep the suspense going, OK?” Yeah, man. Go for it, D Man.

Trump: "You watch my statement. I have to keep the suspense going, OK?"

Others saw Donald Trumps magnificent gesture in a different light. One of those would be First Lady, Michele Obama: “There were those who questioned and continued to question for the past eight years up through this very day whether my husband was even born in this country. I think Barack has answered those questions with the example he set by going high when they go low.”

Look, Mrs. Obama. You can go high if you want to, but somebody has to go low. It’s why we need Donald Trump.

Michele Obama: "There were those who questioned and continued to question for the past eight years up through this very day whether my husband was even born in this country. I think Barack has answered those questions with the example he set by going high when they go low."

Neither was Donald Trump’s political opponent willing to concede his grandness. We have this from the Hillary Clinton campaign: “A sickening display.”

From Clinton, herself: “His campaign was founded on this outrageous lie. There is no erasing it in history.”

Picky, picky.

 

Clinton Campaign: "A sickening display." Clinton: "His campaign was founded on this outrageous lie. There is no erasing it in history."

As always, in stressful times such as this in Donald Trump’s quest for additional greatness, the nay-sayers come from all over. From the Congressional Black Caucus: “Donald Trump is a disgusting fraud.” “This man cannot be elected.” “Enough is enough.”

Enough is enough? Well, enough will be enough when Donald Trump says it’s enough.

Congressional Black Caucus: "Donald Trump is a disgusting fraud." "This man cannot be elected." "Enough is enough."

And finally, the object of all this careful scrutiny put in his say on the matter. From the President of the United States: “My hope would be the presidential election reflects more serious issues than that.” More serious than the birther movement. Really? Then what would The Donald have to run on. Think again, Mr. President.

President Obama: My hope would be the presidential election reflects more serious issues than that.

Yeah, it’s game on. We are going to have more fun between now and November. We can be assured Donald Trump will never fail to entertain us.

Continue reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

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One thought on “Don’t Bump The Trump

  1. Pingback: Don’t Bump The Trump | Skeptical Analysis

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