Don’t Bump The Trump

One of a series


A warning for those who chance to meet a wild Trump coming home late at night, past a graveyard, all alone in a storm: Don’t bump the Trump. [With apologies to Shel Silverstein.]

I’ve been running this love fest with presidential candidate Donald Trump going on five weeks with no idea where it’s heading. Now I find I will be able to post a new item every day from now until November without repeating myself. Thank you, Mr. Trump. It’s the nicest thing anybody’s ever done for me.Thank you very, very, very much!

Self-obsessed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by scooping up conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very wrong. I completely failed to take into consideration that Donald Trump is a very classy guy:

Donald J. Trump said on Thursday that the pastor who interrupted his remarks at an African-American church in Flint, Mich., was “a nervous mess” when she introduced him and that he thought “something was up” with her.

During his visit to Bethel United Methodist Church on Wednesday, Mr. Trump, the Republican presidential nominee, started to assail his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton, for being a failure. As he spoke, the Rev. Faith Green Timmons came over to him and said, “Mr. Trump, I invited you here to thank us,” and added, “not make a political speech.”

Mr. Trump addressed the awkward exchange in an interview on Fox Newson Thursday, suggesting that Pastor Timmons had a political agenda.

Oops! Reverend Timmons had agreed to have Mr. Trump address the congregation with the idea he would be heaping praise on the church for its good work. When he launched into a brainless attack on his political opponent, somebody who has loads of creds in the community, Pastor Timmons set him straight.


He was following that. He polished off with a sentence or two and beat it out the door.

But Donald Trump (you’ve got to love him) did not take the slight with undue grace. He was quickly back in true Donald Trump style.


Yes, “She was so nervous. She was like a nervous mess.” How so very true. Well, not quite. Scott Detrow was present, reporting for National Public Radio:

I was in the room in Flint as a pool reporter at the time, and here’s what happened: Trump visited Bethel United Methodist Church on Wednesday afternoon after briefly touring Flint’s water treatment plant. (Flint has become a must-visit campaign stop this year because of its high-profile water quality crisis.)

Facts do not appear to dissuade the indomitable Mr. Trump. When confronted with the critters, he faces them head-on, and charges:

After the interruption at the church, Mr. Trump went on to discuss the economic situation in Flint. He said on Thursday that most of the people who attended the event at the church welcomed him warmly.

“The audience was saying ‘let him speak, let him speak,’ ” Mr. Trump said. “The audience was so great.”

But a pool reporter who was traveling Mr. Trump disputed his account, describing a scene where several members of the audience actually heckled Mr. Trump and questioned him about reports that he had discriminated against black people as a landlord. According to the pool report, Pastor Timmons defended Mr. Trump and told the crowd that he was “a guest of my church and you will defend him.”

Readers, it is discouraging to see this much class going to waste. Donald Trump doesn’t need to be in politics. He needs to be on a stage somewhere doing stand-up comedy. He is a hoot.

Yeah, it’s game on. We are going to have more fun between now and November. We can be assured Donald Trump will never fail to entertain us.

Continue reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.


One thought on “Don’t Bump The Trump

  1. Pingback: Don’t Bump The Trump | Skeptical Analysis

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