Don’t Bump The Trump

One of a series


A warning for those who chance to meet a wild Trump coming home late at night, past a graveyard, all alone in a storm: Don’t bump the Trump. [With apologies to Shel Silverstein.]

It’s game on. Self-professed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by drawing in conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very, very wrong. I completely failed to take into account Donald Trump’s tremendous sense of civic responsibility:

Forty-nine seconds it took. Forty-nine seconds for Trump to tire of pretending to help unload Play-Doh from a truck. Just be glad Palin wasn’t there, she’d have tried to use the Play-Doh to fix somebody’s house. Or just eaten it.

All right. That didn’t go half as well as expected. What the people of Louisiana really need is help in setting political priorities. This is an area in which Donald Trump shines:

Donald Trump, who recently claimed he would fight for the rights of LGBTQ Americans, just donated $100,000 to a church that hates them.

As part of his tour through flood-stricken Louisiana last week, the candidate stopped at Greenwell Springs Baptist Church. Supporters waited outside in “Make America Great Again” gear, and clamored for photos when he approached.

“You’re going to be fine,” Trump told them.

Days later, the church confirmed in a Facebook status that Trump gave them a hefty donation. CNN reporters Ashley Killough and Dana Bash separately confirmed the Republican nominee donated $100,000, though they did not specify how the funds will be used.

I’m still waiting to see if Greenwell Springs Baptist Church plans to erect a statue.

Yeah, it’s game on. We are going to have more fun between now and November. We can be assured Donald Trump will never fail to entertain us.

Continue reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.


One thought on “Don’t Bump The Trump

  1. Pingback: Don’t Bump The Trump | Skeptical Analysis

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