Don’t Bump The Trump

One of a series


A warning for those who chance to meet a wild Trump coming home late at night, past a graveyard, all alone in a storm: Don’t bump the Trump. [With apologies to Shel Silverstein.]

It’s game on. Self-professed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by drawing in conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very, very wrong. I completely forgot to take into account Donald Trump’s warm and caring nature:

[Speaking of Ohio Governor John Kasich] “Did you see him? He has a news conference, all the time when he’s eating. I have never seen a human being eat in such a disgusting fashion,” Trump said during a Rhode Island rally last month. “This guy takes a pancake and he’s shoving it in his mouth. It’s disgusting… Do you want that for your president? I don’t think so.”

Sometimes his innate warmth just overflows:

“Doonesbury, Doonesbury! Everybody’s asking me to respond to Doonesbury! People tell me I should be flattered.” “They say Trudeau is somewhat clever. But I’d venture to say that most people are like me. They don’t comprehend what Trudeau’s trying to achieve with Doonesbury either.” “Actually I don’t read his stuff. You know, I did well in school, but for the life of me, I still can’t understand what Doonesbury is all about.” “Why’s he have to keep putting me in his comic strip month after month?” “I think he’s got overrated talent, and I wish he’d draw someone besides me.” “The good news is he’s been covering me for years, and it seems very few people read what he writes.” “It’s too bad that he’s allowed to write this garbage.” “A third-rate talent trying to get publicity on my back.” “A low blow by a sleazeball.” “A third-rate talent who got lucky.” “A jerk.” “A total loser.”

[G.B. Trudeau, Yuge. Andrews McMeel Publishing, April 2016]

There are no limits to Donald Trump’s good nature:

I refuse to call Megyn Kelly a bimbo, because that would not be politically correct. Instead I will only call her a lightweight reporter!

Very presidential, I must say.

Yeah, it’s game on. We are going to have more fun between now and November. We can be assured Donald Trump will never fail to entertain us.

Continue reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

One thought on “Don’t Bump The Trump

  1. Pingback: Don’t Bump The Trump | Skeptical Analysis

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