Don’t Bump The Trump

One of a series

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A warning for those who chance to meet a wild Trump coming home late at night, past a graveyard, all alone in a storm: Don’t bump the Trump. [With apologies to Shel Silverstein.]

It’s game on. Self-professed billionaire Donald Trump earlier snatched the campaign torch from the Republican Party by drawing in conservative America’s low-hanging fruit. Full disclosure: it’s something I proclaimed over a year ago could not be done. I was wrong! How wrong? Very, very wrong. I completely forgot to take into account that Donald Trump is the American standard bearer for family values:

Over the weekend, right-wing pseudo-historian David Barton appeared on the Bible Broadcasting Network’s “Weekend Connection” program, where he offered conservative Christians some guidance on how to vote in the presidential election based on the Ten Commandments.

Barton, who has made clear that he believes that Donald Trump is “God’s guy” in this election, admitted that no candidate is perfect as he made the case again that Christians must first and foremost focus on electing candidates who promise to appoint conservative judges because the Bible says that “the righteousness of the land is dependent on the judges in that land.”

In addition, he said, Christians must look to the Ten Commandments in casting their vote; specifically by supporting a president who “publicly acknowledges God [and] who openly supports the acknowledgement of God,” who is committed to “keeping the marriage bed pure” by opposing gay marriage, who opposes abortion and who opposes the use eminent domain to allow the government to take private property.

Donald Trumps concern for citizens’ rights with regard to eminent domain is heartening. Especially heartened is Vera Coking of Atlantic City, New Jersey:

Vera Coking, an elderly widow from Atlantic City, knows firsthand the power of unaccountable government agencies. The Institute for Justice successfully defended Vera against the condemnation of her home by a State agency that sought to take her property and transfer it—at a bargain-basement price—to another private individual: Donald Trump. Trump convinced the State agency to use its “eminent domain” power to take Vera’s home so he could construct a limousine parking lot for his customers—hardly a public purpose. And unfortunately, cases in which government agencies act not as protectors of constitutionally guaranteed rights, but instead as agents for powerful, private interests, have become all too common.

Donald Trump, of course, believes strongly that marriage means one man-one woman, one man-one woman, one man-one woman. It’s an amazing tale. I’m reminded of a quaint story from colonial India. Two members of His Majesty’s officer corps were discussing a third:

Have you heard about Greer?

Greer?

Yes, Greer.

What about Greer?

It’s been said Greer has been having sexual intercourse with a baboon.

A baboon? Really! Male or female?

Why, female, of course. There’s nothing queer about Greer.

Yeah, it’s game on. We are going to have more fun between now and November. We can be assured Donald Trump will continue to fail to disappoint us.

Keep reading. And may Jesus have mercy on your soul.

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One thought on “Don’t Bump The Trump

  1. Pingback: Don’t Bump The Trump | Skeptical Analysis

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