Mister Erudition


Do you remember fourth grade? I remember fourth grade. Mrs. Morris taught fourth grade. I remember we had to learn a bunch of facts. Mrs. Morris was strong on spelling, as well. We were learning to spell about then. In English, making it doubly grim. She had a weekly spelling contest. It came at the end of the week, so we had an entire week to prepare for the next set of words. My friend Dale Hudson and I decided to finesse the system. We decided to memorize the words. Soon we became known as the champs of fourth grade. Those days are over. Facts are so 20th century.

Presidential candidate Donald Trump was in Loudoun County, Virginia, last week, working to jack up support. He gave a speech at Briar Woods High School in Ashburn and sought to reassure listeners that better times are ahead, provided, I assume, he gets elected. Apparently the citizens of Loudoun County have been having a rough time under the current administration. Candidate Trump reminded listeners how bad things have become:

You’re doing lousy over here, by the way, I hate to tell you,

Really bad:

As of 2011, Loudoun County had a median household income of $119,134. Since 2008 the county has been ranked first in the United States in median household income among jurisdictions with a population of 65,000 or more.

Couldn’t get much worse.

That was Betsey Woodruff covering Candidate Trump’s rally for The Daily Beast. The grim news was not welcome to friends of Obama. Candidate Trump reminded residents how the failing economy has hit them in in the shorts. There was a Ball Company factory closure. This was devastating to the people of Loudoun County. They must have been shocked when they read about it in The Wall Street Journal. The factory was in Bristol, near the Tennessee border and a five-hour commute each way for Loudoun County residents working there.

Candidate Trump soldiered on, laying bare the raw nerve. “Anybody used to work for Smithfield?” That’s right. Closure of Smithfield Foods, Inc., was devastating to Loudoun County workers. They are going to miss the six-hour round trip drive to work.

“Stanley Furniture closed its plant.” Ouch! Every time a plant in North Carolina closes, there is another million-dollar home foreclosure in Loudoun County. Woodruff had more bad news:

He also mentioned the closure of a plant owned by Invista, a Koch Industries company that produces fabric and carpeting. That plant was two hours from Ashburn, and it closed eight years ago.

Senator Barack Obama must have been particularly embarrassed by that calamity. At the time he was running for the office of President, and that bit of news must have been a body blow to his campaign.

Candidate Trump’s wanderings into fact-land have not been limited to the economy. His mastery of things geographical are being noticed:

“Her running mate, Tim Kaine, who by the way, did a terrible job in New Jersey,” Trump said at a news conference in Miami. “He was not very popular in New Jersey, and he still isn’t.”

He’s talking about Candidate Clinton here, and the presumptive Vice President. It is fortunate that Candidate Trump is able from time to time to motor across the George Washington Bridge and confer with Bob Menendez and Cory Booker, Democratic senators from New Jersey, which state now has a third senator, thanks to the generosity of Commonwealth of Virginia.

Candidate Trump’s geographical erudition is not limited to this country’s paltry shoreline. The world is his backyard:

“He’s not going into Ukraine, OK, just so you understand. He’s not going to go into Ukraine, all right? You can mark it down. You can put it down. You can take it anywhere you want,” Trump said in an interview on Sunday with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos on “This Week.”

Thank you, Candidate Trump. I did mark that down. I did put it down. I did take it anywhere I wanted. I might even take it to the Crimea and have a lively discussion. I may have a lively discussion with the several thousand of Russian soldiers now occupying the Crimea since over two years ago. Are they going to be surprised. This ought to be fun.

Keep reading. And don’t forget to vote for Trump. He’s a hoot.


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