This time I’m going to make an exception. Always before, even if I had seen a movie before, I would rewind and watch it again when writing a review. I can’t do it this time. The movie is that bad. I’m just going to post some screen shots from my DVD and let you readers figure it all out for yourselves.
It’s Mars Needs Women from 1967 and produced by Azalea Pictures. According to Wikipedia the production budget was $20,000. That’s crowding the record.
I’m not getting into the plot. For details, go to the Wikipedia entry. The only reason I purchased the DVD, the only reason I watched for the first and only time, was an interesting piece of architecture. In the movie it’s the United States Decoding Service, NASA Wing. We are cautioned that “No Unauthorized Personnel” are allowed beyond this point. Colonel Robert Page is the Commanding Officer.
Apparently I was authorized, because I worked there. And it had nothing to do with NASA. A company in Richardson, Texas, hired me as a research scientist, and they told me to go work over there.
We were only a few weeks in these digs before we moved on, but it was way cool while it lasted.
But, let’s get back to the movie. It turns out that Mars does need women, and they set about getting them by making Earth women of the juiciest kind disappear. Like here. A woman is playing tennis with her male opponent, when he turns around to look for his balls.
In a flash the woman is gone. I never figured out how the movie makers do this trick.
The Air Force colonel (see Wikipedia) explains the emergency that’s come up. This matter is going to get some action.
A visitor from on of the Martian party explains what they are up to.
The movie seems to have been shot entirely in the Dallas area, and viewers will recognize a number of familiar landmarks, much changed in the past 50 years.
Yes, Mars does need women.
A Martian hooks up with an Earth woman, and they go on a sight seeing ride—a simulated trip to Mars.
And it ends when the Martians are forced to leave Earth without their cargo of comely Earth women. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Except, this facility on International Parkway is still ts still there after 50 years, though under new management.
Fortunately this production never saw the big screen. It went directly to TV, where it supposedly became a cult classic. Must have been the Peoples Temple cult, because I never bumped into it late at night all alone in a storm.