The Ever-Diminishing List of Those Who Cannot Obtain Life Insurance at any Price

One of a continuing series

www.cbsnews.com ISIS leaders (left to right): Abd al-Rahman Mustafa al-Qaduli, Abu Mohammed al-Adnani, Tarkhan Tayumurazovich Batirashvili and Tariq Bin-al-Tahar Bin al-Falih al-Awni al-Harziv

http://www.cbsnews.com
ISIS leaders (left to right): Abd al-Rahman Mustafa al-Qaduli, Abu Mohammed al-Adnani, Tarkhan Tayumurazovich Batirashvili and Tariq Bin-al-Tahar Bin al-Falih al-Awni al-Harziv

Let me check. I may be running out of space for these. No. That’s good. There’s enough for plenty more. Keep reading.

(CNN)The Pentagon said Friday that it had killed ISIS’ finance minister, Abd al-Rahman Mustafa al-Qaduli, whom many analysts consider the group’s No. 2 leader.

Those analysts believe al-Qaduli would have been expected to take control of the day-to-day running of ISIS, also called ISIL, if its leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, was killed or incapacitated.

The U.S. operation was intended to capture him alive, a U.S. official told CNN. Helicopters loaded with special operations forces swooped in on a vehicle carrying al-Qaduli, but at the last moment something happened that caused them to decide to fire on the vehicle instead. The official would not say what it was that caused them to modify the plan.

The official (not named) would not say what caused the change in plans. I am guessing the team was contemplating having to listen to Mr. al_Qaduli complain all the way back to the base. These special operations guys can be awfully irritable at times.

Not mentioned is whether Mr. al-Qaduli’s life insurance policy was paid up. I’m guessing not. Word on the street is these guys have been unable to obtain whole-life for some time now, at any price.

With the exit (72 virgins) of Daesh (ISIS) number two man, there will naturally be a scramble for the coveted spot.  Perquisites are legendary.

  • Did I mention the virgins?
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses will definitely not be knocking on your door.
  • On the freeway other vehicles give you at least 100 meters space in all directions.
  • Visiting relatives don’t hang around for dinner.
  • No problem finding a parking space at the bazaar.
  • Business meetings are always short.
  • Business meetings are sometimes canceled.
  • Business meetings are very often canceled.
  • You don’t need to set aside funds for retirement.

So, we need to start a pool on who’s going to be the next Daesh number two. Get your submissions in early. Choices will be few. My pick? You want to know my pick? Here’s my pick: Maqduq al-Fuzzi. He hasn’t had any luck since his suicide van was stolen last week.

There will be more. Keep reading.

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One thought on “The Ever-Diminishing List of Those Who Cannot Obtain Life Insurance at any Price

  1. Pingback: The Ever-Diminishing List of Those Who Cannot Obtain Life Insurance at any Price | Skeptical Analysis

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