Jimmy was a crafty burglar. He would sneak into a house at night, steal what was valuable, then sneak out again without being detected.
One night he entered a home through a side window and felt around in the darkness for the door. He always closed the door before using his flashlight. Then in the blackness he heard a voice.
“Jesus is watching you.”
Jimmy froze. He remained completely still, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. Then he heard the voice again.
“Jesus does not like what you are doing. Jesus is going to punish you.”
Jimmy could stand it no longer. He switched on his light and saw a parrot in its beam. The parrot said, “Jesus is watching you.”
Jimmy was both relieved and surprised to find a parrot that could carry on a conversation. “A parrot!” he said. “Are you Jesus?”
The parrot replied, “No, my name is Moses.”
Jimmy was absolutely flabbergasted. “Just who the hell would name a parrot Jesus?” he asked.
The parrot responded, “It’s a very religious family. They named the cat Noah, and they named the Rottweiler Jesus.”